Her Chance of a Lifetime
by CLK
Summary: The affects of one little thing done differently This is an attempt at what might have happened if Mac had done one thing differently but with a different twist than Time of His Life
1. Chapter 1 thru 3

**Title: Her Chance of a Lifetime**  
**Background: ** written after series finale but does not take finale into account.   
**Rating: **strong over 13  
Summary: The affects of one little thing done differently. 

**Special thanks to Catmom, without her constant assistance, this story would not be.**

Chapter 1 

**Washington DC 2007**

Rolling over for the millionth time tonight, Mac glanced up at the clock. She didn't know why she bothered, she knew full well it was two o'clock in the morning. Flailing around alone in the big bed was really starting to get on her nerves. She hated sleeping alone. All she wanted was to roll over and find Harm nestled beside her.

Giving up on the idea of getting any sleep, Mac threw the sheets off the bed in one sweeping motion, and practically sprang up. Making her way into the kitchen for a drink, she looked around. She might as well be productive. She wasn't in the mood to clean, though she did have plenty of laundry she still hadn't folded. It had been a crazy day. She'd had a list of errands as long as her arm to run from one end of town to the other. If that wasn't enough to cram into a single day, with Bud on a camping trip with the boys, and Harriet on the tale end of a stomach flu, Mac found the words 'I'll pick up the twins on my way to the grocery store,' tumbling out of her mouth before her brain could stop her.

So now she sat restless and exhausted on the sofa, staring at an enormous mound of laundry, and what looked like an interesting old movie. Noticing Claudette Colbert's tear-stained face, Mac found herself mesmerized with the actress' heartfelt performance.

"Why am I always the one crying?"

Now didn't THAT sound familiar! Raising the volume just a tad, Mac scooted to the edge of the sofa ignoring the unfolded laundry.

"You're not. Trust me," Fred MacMurray's voice resounded from the TV. His arms tightly wrapped around Claudette Colbert.

Even though Mac was staring at a tall man's back, she'd recognize Fred's voice anywhere. If only Harm had said something like that to her in his office all those years ago. Maybe things would have been different, easier. Couldn't she make a fortune if she could find a way to bottle and sell hindsight before it's needed?

Startled to see Fred pull away from Claudette in a crisp military khaki uniform, Mac raised the volume again. Good grief, I should have watched this movie years ago. Harm may not have flown off to World War II, but gees. This is my life. Shoving the laundry to one side, she stretched her legs out on the sofa and settled back to watch the old flick.

By the end of the movie, Mac was struggling to keep her eyes open. All she could think about was how good Harm looked in a leather jacket. Fred couldn't hold a candle to him, even with the Hollywood induced romance of the war. As the final credits rolled, so did Mac. Shifting on the sofa, she turned over and closed her eyes. What a happy ending…

Opening her eyes, Mac looked around, stunned to find herself fully dressed and standing in the middle of an office, her office. How did she wind up at headquarters? Walking slowly around the room, looking at the sparse furnishings, she paused at the baby seal poster. This always was my favorite, she thought.

"Major. Glad you're in early. The Admiral wants to see us in his office ASAP," Bud popped his head into the room, completely oblivious to Mac's startled expression.

Major? Was Bud having a moment of senility? Wait a minute, his hair should be gray, and Admiral? What happened to General Cresswell?

"Go ahead, Bud. Tell the Admiral I'll be right there." Mac tried to smile reassuringly, her brain scrambling to make sense of the situation. Okay, what's going on here? The last thing she remembered was trying not to fall asleep while watching Claudette Colbert and Fred MacMurray. That's it! This was nothing but a dream. She wouldn't be at all surprised if Fred MacMurray walked into the office instead of Harm.

Feeling better, she tugged on the hem of her shirt and stiffened her shoulders. She could do this. It might even be fun to see what she was going to dream up.

"Hey, Mac," Harm called to her as she stepped through her doorway. "Glad I caught you. Wanted to let you know I'm taking Teri to the ariport."

"Has anyone told you you're much better looking than Fred MacMurray?"

"Excuse me?" Harm's eyebrows crinkled curiously.

"Sorry. That's great. Tell Teri I said bye, and thanks. This case meant a lot to everyone."

"Will, do."

Mac watched him walking away. Much better looking than Fred MacMurray.

"You'd better not keep the Admiral waiting," a voice calmly noted from inside her office.

Mac's head snapped around in the direction the voice had come from, but she didn't see anyone. She definitely heard a voice. It was loud and clear. Surely this wasn't going to be one of those dreams?

"I'm right here."

Scanning the room again, Mac took a short step forward, surprised to see a friendly older woman sitting in her seat. A Brigadier General. You don't see many of those. What was a female general doing at her desk?

"Ma'am." Mac snapped to attention.

"You'd better hurry. It's not smart to keep a two star waiting. I'll be here when you get back. Then we can have a nice long chat," the woman smiled.

"Yes, ma'am." The woman was right. You don't keep a two star waiting. Not quiet sure how the general managed to get into the room without her noticing, Mac shook her thoughts clear and hurried to the Admiral's office. This was a dream after all. The rules of reality shouldn't be expected to apply.

Knocking softly on the Admiral's door, Mac waited for the expected "enter" before making her way into the large office.

"Nice of you to show up, Major." Admiral AJ Chegwidden gestured towards the empty chair in front of him.

"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. I had an unexpected…visitor."

AJ stared at Mac a moment. "Everything taken care of?"

"Yes, sir," Mac nodded.

"Then I can expect your full attention?" AJ had already noticed a distracted air about Mac.

"Yes, sir." At least she hoped so.

Twenty minutes later Mac was scurrying back to her office, not sure at all of a single word the Admiral had said, and not sure it really mattered. Coming to a screeching halt at her office door, she was almost surprised to see the woman still sitting at her desk patiently waiting.

"Close the door Sarah, and take a seat."

It seemed odd to be sitting in front of her own desk.

"Have you not figured out yet why I'm here?"

Mac shook her head, "Not exactly."

"But you have an idea." The corners of the old woman's mouth curled up almost smugly.

"This is about that movie last night." What else could inspire such an odd dream? She hadn't eaten anything spicy. She'd hardly eaten anything at all the last few days.

"Partly. You seemed to think changing your goodbye when Harm returned to flying would have made life easier."

"And?"

"And… this is your chance."

"My chance?"

"To change your life. Your life with Harm." The General's smug grin turned to a warm smile. There was something familiar about it, only Mac couldn't quite put her finger on it. Blinking a few times, focusing on the nametag, her jaw visibly dropped. S. MacKenzie. Was this her future self and her past converging into one insane dream?

Before Mac could force her mouth to form words, with the same unexplainable ease with which she appeared, the older woman had vanished. Mac couldn't resist looking around. She even bent over to check under the desk. This dream had all the signs of being one hell of a ride.

**Chapter 2**

Sitting at her desk, she was amazed at how clearly she could remember all the details of the cases before her. Working busily she hadn't noticed how long it had been since Harm had left earlier that morning. Before she knew it, they were standing awkwardly in front of his desk.

"Hey, want me to water your plants while you're gone?"

"I don't have any plants." This was so much harder than Harm had thought it would be.

"Damn it! I have so much I want to say but I can't… I can't find the words," Mac sniffled.

"I know." Harm couldn't resist any longer, gently he leaned forward and pulled her into a tight embrace.

Wrapped in Harm's arms she couldn't stop the tears from falling. This was it. The pain of his leaving was as unbearable now as it had been all those years ago.

"Damn you. Why am I always the only one crying?"

As she had done all those years ago, Mac some how found the strength to tear herself away, to go about the rest of her business, to pretend that this wasn't the hardest day of her life, that her heart wasn't breaking.

Watching him step into the elevator, from the corner of her eye, Mac spotted her older self once again seated at the desk, staring intently at Mac. Well, if this dream was supposed to show her how things would change, she'd only be encouraging the definition of insanity if she expected a different response from the same action. Edged on by an overwhelming confidence she'd never known regarding Harm, Mac found herself rushing towards the closing elevator doors.

"Harm, wait!"

Harm stretched his one arm out to stop the doors, almost dropping the box he was now juggling on one arm. Overcome by the sheer joy at seeing her hurrying towards him, he struggled to make his mouth move.

"Mac?"

"I can't let you leave like this. Maybe the words will come easier if we're not at work. Come say goodbye, tonight, my apartment. Please?"

Harm's heart was still stuck in his throat. Leaving JAG was one of the hardest things he'd ever done. Leaving Mac was most definitely THE hardest.

"I'll be there." His words barely reached Mac's ears when the elevator doors closed again, allowing him only a short moment to register the small smile that spread across her face.

**Mac's apartment**

**Georgetown**

Nervously, Mac paced like a caged lion. This wasn't how it happened. He left. They never said another word. A short email here and there. She never even told him about her promotion until she was sent to the Henry for the Buxton case. What in the name of heaven was she supposed to do or say now?

Stopping short by the dining room table it suddenly hit her: What difference does it make? This is only a dream. This won't really matter. Once again she was filled with the same confidence she felt when Harm stepped into the elevator, she braced herself and took a deep breath just as Harm knocked at the door.

"Glad you could make it." Mac tried to hang on to her waning confidence.

"I don't have to leave for the airport until 0600." Harm entered the apartment slowly. He couldn't ever remember a time when he felt more out of place at Mac's. Out of nowhere, his mind was filled with memories of the time he'd come to her door for help after his brig break. He'd warned her if she let him in she'd be harboring a fugitive. All she asked was did he do it, and without reservation she let him in and came to his aid. This woman was always there for him, and now he was leaving her behind to follow a lifelong dream. He swallowed hard forcing himself to remember this was something he had to do. He wouldn't be any good to any woman if he had to live the rest of his life feeling flying was taken away from him. He needed to give it up freely, hopefully for a greater passion.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"No, thank you." Harm sat down in the nearest chair.

Nervously, sitting on the corner of the sofa, Mac drew her knees up against her chest.

"Are you sure you don't want a drink?" She wasn't sure she could do this.

"Glass of water would be nice." All afternoon Harm had wondered what might happen. Would he finally find the words to let her know she wasn't the only one crying? Only now, he was surprised to have even found the words to ask for a drink.

"Great." Mac sprang from the sofa, practically jumping out of her skin when she heard Harm's voice softly beside her in the kitchen.

"Is something wrong? You seem edgy." Standing behind her, slightly to one side, Harm let his hand fall lightly on her shoulder. Surprised to feel her stiffen beneath his touch. "Mac?"

"I still can't find the words," she mumbled, determined not to cry again.

"Would it help if I started?" Tightening his hold on her shoulder, he moved his other hand around her waist to turn her towards him.

Blinking tightly, Mac nodded her head yes before looking up into his beautiful green eyes. Staring into their depths, she felt a shiver run up her spine at the intensity she found in them. Had that been there this afternoon? Was she so lost in her own pain that she didn't see it?

"You weren't the only one crying." There, he'd said it.

"No?" Mac swallowed hard. It had been there.

"No." Harm's hand slid down her arm, stopping above her elbow, drawing tiny circles with his thumb. "I…I tried not to…but, leaving you is going to be…harder than I…than I thought." It was Harm's turn to swallow hard. This was the closest he'd come to laying his heart on the table. Much more so than even the baby deal he'd offered just a few days before.

"It is?" Mac could hardly find her voice.

"Uh huh." Harm wanted so badly to pull Mac into his arms. The thought of tasting her sweet lips was beginning to block all rational thought. His mind lingered on how soft her lips looked just slightly separated, hanging open after her last words.

"I don't know if I'll be able to order a pizza without asking for half veggie. If I can enjoy a burger without you teasing me about dead animal, but most importantly, I know I can't bear the thought of walking into the office and not finding you there tomorrow."

"Mac…" Harm struggled for the words. They simply weren't there. Nothing could clearly express what he was feeling. There were no words. In what felt like incredibly slow motion, he dipped his head until his lips captured hers in a sweet, soft, tender kiss that lasted just long enough to convey the depth of his feelings, but not long enough to give room for the passion heating inside him to erupt.

All too soon, she felt his lips pull away from hers, leaving her almost pained from the break. Opening her eyes, she mourned the loss of what had been the sweetest ten seconds of her life. She'd felt this once before on a dock in Norfolk, but this time there was no doubt who he was kissing. Now she was all the more certain that life without Harmon Rabb would never be the same.

"Can we try that again, only, maybe sitting down this time?" Without realizing it, the tip of Mac's tongue slipped out to moisten her suddenly dry lips.

"I…I don't think that's such a good idea." The sight of the pink flesh slowly bathing her moist lips had just turned his inner heat level up several notches.

"I see." Mac pulled away. The nearly impermeable walls she had spent years building around her heart, quickly slid back in place to protect her.

"No. I don't think you do. I still have to leave tomorrow." Lifting his hand to brush the back of his fingers along her face. "I don't want to make that any harder for either of us, and quite frankly, I'm not sure I could settle for just one more kiss."

"Are you telling me my kiss is like a Lays potato chip?" Mac bit her lower lip holding back a giggle.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." Drowning in the hunger he saw in her dark brown eyes. Her beautiful dark brown eyes, Harm pulled Mac tightly against him. "Oh, Mac."

"Do you think you could maybe just hold me for a little while? Until you have to leave?" Her face buried in his chest, she batted back the tears. Damn it. She promised herself she wouldn't do that tonight.

"Until I have to leave." Only those who knew Harm really well would have heard the slight crack in his voice.

Kissing the top of her head, he stepped back. Reaching down to take her shaky hand in his, he followed behind her into the living room and settled heavily on the sofa beside her.

Flipping on the stereo with the remote control, Mac snuggled into his shoulder, completely warm and safe, cocooned in his arms. Neither one was willing to risk the magic of the moment with words.

Closing his arms more tightly around Mac, the words 'until I have to leave' echoed in his head. This was only making things harder. How was he supposed to find the strength to walk away now?

**Chapter 3**

They had fallen asleep on the couch, wrapped in each other's arms like a couple of teenagers. Harm barely managed to get back to his place in time to pick up his bags and catch his flight to Pensacola. In a way, the rush made leaving much easier. Neither one would have handled a long good bye very well. With barely a peck on the lips, Harm practically flew out of her apartment.

**June 29, 1999 JAG Headquarters**

Time had just whizzed by since Harm had returned to flying. He'd spent almost a month training in Pensacola before meeting up with his squadron. If you'd asked Mac what had happened the last several days, she wouldn't have been able to give you any details other than to repeat what was in the emails she'd received from Harm.

Spotting the waving icon. She clicked on her mail, keeping her fingers crossed that at least one would be from Harm. Her heart leapt at the sight of the first address on the list, tomcat64 at think I'm finally getting used to my name. At least I don't feel quite like I've been dropped in from Lil Abner. Lol. It's taking a little time, but I've definitely won Tuna over. If nothing else there's at least one person on this ship who doesn't think I'm too old to be flying. Well, two if you count Skates.

I can't help but wonder. Were we really ever 'that' young? Was I ever that young?'

Mac continued reading the email over and over until she finally heard Bud tapping on her door.

"Sorry, ma'am, but I need the Dawson file. You said it would be ready this morning."

"Oh, sorry, Bud, I was lost in thought."

Bud smiled, "Yes, ma'am." He could always tell when she was reading her mail from Harm. It was the only time he ever saw her smile a real smile. The kind that reached her eyes, and lingered.

**July 25, 1999**

Patrick Henry 

'I can't believe it's already been almost two months since you left.'

Had it really been that long? Harm shifted, sinking more comfortably in his seat. After reading every line, he'd close his eyes and just listen for her voice. God, how he missed her. He couldn't even begin to imagine the lonely ache that must fill the men who left wives behind. He had only a dream of someday being together to look forward to, but so many had the memories of what they'd left behind to contend with.

'The Admiral called me into his office today. It seems he had second thoughts after all and put my promotion back on a fast track. The next time you see me, I'll be a Lt. Colonel. Okay, you can stop laughing now.

I don't suppose you've always had a thing for Lt. Colonels?'

Harm felt the heat flush all the way to his ears. If he'd never had a thing for Lt. Colonels before, he certainly had one now. At least for one particular brown eyed Lt. Colonel.

Closing his eyes again, Harm remembered back to that night in her kitchen. If he pressed his eyes shut really tightly, and thought really hard, he could almost feel her soft body pressed against his. He could just about taste the sweet savor of her lips under his. With a will of its own, his mind went over every inch of the kiss and even dared to dream on. As his mind drew pictures of the things he had wanted to do to Mac but hadn't dared, he was interrupted by the loud clanking of the door as Tuna came stomping into their room.

"Marine mail again?"

"What?"

"Every time I come in here and find that shit eating grin on your face, you've been reading mail from your Marine." Tuna couldn't help but laugh. Harm had it bad, real bad.

My Marine, Harm repeated silently. Oh, how he wished 'that' was true.

**September 8, 1999  
****JAG Headquarters**

Mac had been waiting three days for an email from Harm. It wasn't like him to go so many days without at least a quick note to let her know he was fine. When the icon flickered and she spotted the familiar name, she was washed with a wave of relief as powerful as any force of nature. She had been telling herself there was nothing to worry about, but she didn't want to admit how worried she had been until she recognized just how relieved she was to finally hear from him.

'Hi Mac. Or should I say ma'am? LOL. Sorry, couldn't resist. It's been one hell of a few days. The good news is you're now talking with the new wing leader. The bad news is Buxton didn't take being replaced well. He just about got himself killed. It was bad enough when he decided to make the grand gesture the other day of letting me gas up after I swallowed a seagull, leaving him bingo fuel to land with. Of course he claimed his superior piloting skills eliminated any risk - keep in mind this is the part where I try not to laugh out loud at him. Anyhow, today, he totally ignores me and goes after a Mig. Any pilot worth his salt knows those guys travel in pairs. Sure enough. Mac, He's reckless and arrogant, but the worst part is, if he would just lose the attitude, he could be great. I told him he's confusing his scores on the greenie board with reality. He really thinks he's a king.'

Mac tried not to read between the lines as she finished the email. Mig was a word she wasn't fond of. It usually meant some sort of unfriendly interaction, and at Angels 30, that thought didn't make her any too happy.

**September 28, 1999 Patrick Henry**

Harm was really starting to lose patience with Buxton. Harm may have been a bit arrogant and cocky once upon a time, all young pilots are, but Buxton was pushing the limits. Now he was trying to ruin his plane captain's career for something Buxton himself should have caught if he'd inspected the pod properly. That was really the crux of the problem. If Buxton never felt anything wrong was his fault, then he would never learn and would be doomed to repeating the same mistakes. Harm had no way of knowing when or where, but some day, another one of Buxton's mistakes would get another somebody killed.

It had been a grueling few days. And now, with this Russian dignitary snooping about, Harm had just about had it. He thought he had left JAG behind, but as wing legal officer, the stack of files on his desk made him wonder if he had really left JAG or just moved his office.

"You should get some shut eye." Tuna poked his head out from his rack.

"I will, I just need to finish up here," Harm grinned back at Tuna.

"It's got to be quitting time in DC. Just check your email so we can both get some sleep." Tuna shook his head. Yup, Pappy was definitely a gonner.

Who did Harm think he was fooling? He'd been waiting all day hoping to hear from Mac. It was nearly end of day in DC. If he didn't hear from her soon, he'd do as Tuna wanted and call it a night. Just about ready to give in and shut down, he spotted incoming mail.

'Hi, I thought I'd never get five minutes to myself. It's been a madhouse. Brumby is a nice guy, but he's starting to get to be a bit much. The guy simply doesn't know how to take no for an answer. lol. I bet him dinner at Calistos that I'd beat him on this case. It's a slam dunk. Maybe winning will teach him to back off.'

Grunting quietly, Harm wasn't sure what was so 'lol' about the guy not leaving her alone. He never did like Bugme. The man should have stayed in Australia with the kangaroos.

'On the bright side, we've got a new office manager. The place seemed to be falling apart with Harriet on reserve. He's a Marine Gunnery Sergeant. You'd like him. Cares about the truth more than a cushy civilian job. He should fit in well.

I've got more good news. At least I hope you think so. It seems the Admiral has decided to send me out to the Henry to investigate Buxton. For a minute there I was a little worried he wasn't going to let me go, that maybe he thought my knowledge of Buxton through you would be prejudicial. I know, I was being silly. I just want so badly to see you again. I can't believe it's been four months already.'

She's coming. The rest of the email was lost in a blur of anticipation. She was going to be here on the same ship with him. This isn't quite the same as their apartments. There would be no privacy. Any displays of affection would be completely inappropriate, not to mention hazardous to their careers. Their careers. Mac was now his superior officer. Oh, boy. This could get hairy, but that thought didn't linger. She was coming. Nothing else mattered.


	2. Chapter 4 thru 6

**Chapter 4**

Harm stepped through the door, patted the passing airman on the back and waited on deck. He could see the COD landing up ahead. She'd be on it. It had been four months, four very long months. As soon as the arriving COD set wheels to the ground, trying very hard not to look like an overzealous schoolboy, Harm made his way to where she'd be. The moment she stepped off, his heart leapt at the sight of her.

Keep this professional Harm. A simple hug. She's a buddy from JAG, a fellow officer. No need to let the entire carrier know you're in love with her. The sound of his own voice in his head almost stopped him cold. He'd known it for a long time, but he'd never admitted it to himself in quite those words. A slowly consuming warmth rose inside him. By God, he was in love with Sarah MacKenzie.

"Hi, stranger." Mac struggled to keep her voice steady. She had to make this sound simple, casual, something among old friends.

"Good to see you." Harm convinced himself the greeting couldn't be considered too revealing. He'd have said the same thing to Bud after four months. Of course, it wouldn't have meant the same, but he would have said it none the less.

Once inside the bustling carrier, Mac turned to Harm as he pulled his helmet off. "I could use your help." She hesitated wondering if this was going to go as she remembered. Last time he didn't know about her promotion. This time it wouldn't be a surprise.

"I'll do my best to obey any lawful order, ma'am." Harm kept his words politically correct for the circumstances, but he couldn't hide the twinkle in his eye.

"Thank you." Mac struggled not to melt on the spot under the power of that gorgeously sexy stare of his. "I have to report into the Captain. Meet me in my cabin when you can."

"I have a plane to fly, but I'll find you when I get back."

In no time at all Mac had met with the Captain, requested all necessary copies of reports and tapes she would need to get a handle on the situation, and managed to make herself as wanted on board as a leper.

Flipping through another tedious file, she jumped slightly at the sound of knocking on her door.

"Come in."

"You asked to see me, ma'am?" Harm announced loud enough to be heard, hopefully not so loud to sound conspicuous.

"Yes, thank you, Commander. I could use some help on this, especially deciphering some of this information."

Carefully, Harm closed the hatch behind him. Taking two long strides in Mac's direction, he stopped short in front of her, suddenly unsure of how much of a greeting would be welcome.

Standing awkwardly only a few inches away from Harm, Mac heard the voice of her older self, repeating in her head: "This is your chance." Closing the final gap between them, a saucy smile on her face, Mac spoke in almost a whisper. "I'll try and make all my orders lawful ones."

"Permission to speak freely, ma'am?"

"Granted."

"I wish you wouldn't." In a breath, Harm's lips had descended on hers. His arms weaved around her, pulling her as close to him as humanly possible.

Instantly lost in the flames rising around her, Mac managed to grasp the passing thought, this was certainly better than the way it had really happened.

Not wanting to waste a single moment, her arms rose around him, her fingers raking slowly through his short hair, her tongue playing tantalizing games with his luscious lips.

Knowing he had to keep a lid on this, and yet wanting so much to taste what he hadn't dared the night he left, Harm's lips parted accepting the invitation to dance, his tongue desperate to explore every nook and cranny of her sweet, moist mouth.

Oh, Lord. This was better than anything his meager imagination could have conjured up. Harm knew immediately he was in serious trouble. He wanted Mac, he wanted her badly, but this wasn't the time or place, and yet he wasn't sure if he could stop himself from needing more, from asking for more.

This was dangerous territory and Mac knew it. She'd been down this path before, having a relationship with a senior officer. Only this time, she was the senior officer and her bunk in the visiting officer's cabin was no where near as comfortable as any bed back home. She needed to stop, or at least slow down, but she wasn't sure she could. After three years of a slow smoldering heat, being in Harm's arms was like striking a match on gasoline and dry kindling. An out of control fire was the only logical reaction.

As if of one mind, Harm and Mac toned down the intensity of the kiss, grudgingly putting more distance between them until Mac was wrapped casually in Harm's arms, his mouth whispering soft words and gently nibbling on her ear, "I've waited so long for this moment."

Once again Harm was driving her wild with want and all he had done was kiss her and whisper in her ear. She was going to have to put more distance between them, or figure out how to fit Harm's large frame into that miniscule bunk before she lost her mind completely.

"Harm," she managed to murmur.

"I know." He really did, he was trying desperately to let go of her, to give them some much-needed space. His body just wasn't cooperating with his mind.

"How are we going to do this?"

For a split second, Harm wasn't sure if she meant let loose or reign it in, but in his heart he knew.

"The same way we always have. Mind over matter, and just in case, always make sure we're chaperoned." A hint of that flyboy smile tugging at his lips, he kissed her sweetly on the forehead, and put just a few inches more between them.

"Mmm, chaperones, huh?" The way she felt, they were going to need a platoon of marines.

"Have you had any chow yet?" Harm took a deep breath. What they needed right now was a diversion.

"No. I was waiting for you." Mac knew he was right. A room full of people would be a good thing for them right now.

"Then follow me." Stepping back, Harm opened the door letting Mac pass by him before stepping in front and leading her to dinner.

Mac thought she'd spotted her older self, standing in the corner, nodding approvingly, but when she turned around to look more closely, there was no one there.

Of all the things she'd expected, Mac hadn't expected her dream to once again have Buxton claim Harm as his lawyer for having given him legal advice. Surely her imagination would have cut her at least a small break. She had no idea if this was a good thing or not. With Harm as opposing counsel, there was no way they could spend anytime alone together, especially not in her room. The best she could hope for would be a few well-chaperoned meals.

On the bright side, at least she didn't have to work with Brumby. She wasn't sure which had her more concerned, Harm and Brumby simultaneously contradicting each other at every turn, or poor Bud wallowing over his lack of relations with Harriet since AJ's birth.

More quickly than she would have thought, the days passed by. The case progressed as she had remembered, she was doing a fabulous job of presenting the obvious, when as usual, Harm pulled his impassioned closing statement out of a hat and swayed the jury to see things his way. At least he had agreed that Buxton was a menace to the Navy with his hotshot ways.

With the case over, this would be her last night on ship. She stood out on the fantail and watched the activity on deck. Harm was out, and it wouldn't be long before his tomcat returned to the carrier. She'd thought of waiting in her room, but this made her feel somehow closer to him. When she saw the first bird coming in for a landing, she released the tight grip she'd had on the railing and headed back to her room. She was sure he'd find a way to come looking for her.

**Chapter 5**

As soon as the canopy opened, Harm's thoughts turned from flying to Mac. She'd be returning to DC tomorrow morning. Having her on the ship, working together, even on opposite sides, reminded him of all he'd given up. He loved the law, and even missed the courtroom, but he was born to be a pilot. He belonged here, that was one thing of which he was very sure. He wanted to fly, and he wanted Mac.

In a way, his flying made more sense. There was no way they would be able to continue working together at JAG if they were to have any kind of a personal future. Yes, they could date for a time without creating too much of a ruckus, but he wanted so much more. He knew that now, too. Besides, having different designators made the rank issue even less of a point. Not that it would really have been a big deal even at JAG, but still, this way could be perfect.

Looking at his watch, he calculated quickly how long it would take to get out of his g-suit and debrief. It was late, but not too late to go see her. He couldn't bear the thought of her leaving in the morning and not having seen her again, even if only for a few short minutes. He needed to let her know how he felt, and he couldn't do that in an email.

Mac paced the small space waiting for Harm. Maybe she should have stayed on deck and watched him land. Surely he knew she was leaving tomorrow and would want to see him. There hadn't been much time for personal conversation, but he had to know. After that wonderful kiss her first day here, he just had to.

When she finally heard the tapping on her door, she felt a thousand pounds of worry roll off her back.

"Enter."

"Evening, Colonel," Harm greeted her casually, closing the door behind him and moving to her side.

Before she knew what hit her, she was scooped in his arms and melting at his touch. Her knees were definitely too weak to hold her. She felt his arms tighten around her waist, offering additional support as she wobbled heavily against him.

Harm had no idea how he had managed to restrain himself over the last few days from taking her in his arms in front of the entire crew. Even in marine green, she looked so damn sexy. He'd never allowed himself to accept that, and especially not to dwell on it, but now that he'd admitted to himself he was in love with her, he simply couldn't see her any other way.

He felt her weight leaning against him. Pulling her more tightly in his arms, he could feel the curves of her body molding to his. The heat surging within was beginning to cloud all thoughts. Dropping his broad hand lower down her back, he let it fall on her six, pressing her even closer to him than he would have thought possible.

Every cell in her body was tingling with need. Even through the miscellaneous layers of uniform between them, she could still feel his body's reaction to their close proximity. Her heart rate soared at the simple recognition that he wanted her as badly as she wanted him. She wouldn't even let herself think that any man on a carrier would react to a woman on board. This was different. She could feel the same soul-deep need in him that she felt within herself.

A slim flicker of rational thought clawed its way through the raw desire to the forefront of his understanding: this wasn't why he was here. This wasn't a liberty port, and she wasn't some ordinary streetwalker to be manhandled by a horny, drunken sailor. There wasn't enough time, or space, to do this right. The light of reason grew stronger in his mind, despite the need threatening to spiral out of control.

"Mac," he murmured into her hair, grudgingly pulling his lips away from hers.

Oh, Lord. Of all the things she loved about Harmon Rabb, this wasn't the time for the Boy Scout in him to emerge. She wanted this too badly. She couldn't let him stop now.

"Harm…" she started.

"No. Please, let me say this. I have to tell you." Harm placed small tender kisses on the top of her head, hoping to ebb the tide of desire still rising inside him.

"What?" She dropped her head on his shoulder, wrapping her arms snugly around his waist.

He needed a little more space between them, just a little distance. Stepping back, he took hold of her hand and walked her over to the bunk. "Sit down a minute." Recognizing the panic in her eyes, he squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Please."

"What is it, Harm?" Mac let her free hand fall on his lap when he sat beside her.

Closing his eyes a second, forcing his heart to slow with deep breaths, he tried to ignore the fire that shot through him as Mac placed her hand so gently, and so close, to the center of all his desire. No, sitting down had not been a great idea. With one long stride, Harm was standing in the middle of the cabin again.

"This cruise should be over by December. I'll be back at Pax River with the squadron until the next deployment," he started.

Mac smiled at the thought of Pax River. She'd thought he'd be stationed out of Pensacola while the ship was docked. Slowly, she got up from the bunk and walked over beside him, so enthralled in the moment, she hadn't realized she'd moved until she felt Harm flinch when she laid her hand on his arm.

"That's not very far from DC," her grin grew even wider, despite his odd reaction.

Turning to fully face her, his eyes met hers. "That's what I want to talk about."

"Talk?" Mac let her fingers run up his chest.

"Yes, Mac." Harm stilled her hand in his. "Let's get married."

Mac felt her jaw drop open for a fraction in time before the words tumbled out. "Oh, yes!"

In a flash, they were fully engulfed in another all consuming kiss.

"Does December sound like a good month to you?" Harm practically panted between kisses.

"Winter wedding sounds lovely." Mac found herself undoing the zipper on his flight suit as her lips toyed with his.

Harm was once again lost in the tantalizing taste of her kiss when he realized Mac was pushing his suit off his shoulders.

Stopping her arms by pulling her even closer, he dragged his lips away from hers and whispered in her ear, "We can't."

"Why not?" She dipped the tip of her tongue into his crooked ear.

Swallowing hard, Harm caught her hands in his. "You mean besides what getting caught breaking regs can do to our careers?" He was amazed he'd managed to make such a coherent statement in his currently incoherent state of mind.

"I don't care about regs. The man I love just asked me to marry him." Mac leaned in for another kiss.

Harm pulled back slightly and stared at her hard. He'd never heard her say that before, and it hit him with almost shameful awareness that he hadn't told her how he felt.

"I love you with all that I am, and the woman I love deserves more than hotbunking in a rack three times too small for what I have in mind."

"I don't care. I love you and I have every intention of showing you exactly how much." Mac shoved the zipper down further with a force that dared him to argue.

"Yes, ma'am."

**Chapter 6**

Mac had expected to wake up alone in bed after her time with Harm, the purpose of her dream over. She had instead been completely surprised to roll over and hit her arm against her desk, only to feel Harm tighten his hold on her. After some gentle nibbling and kissing, Harm had forced himself to dress and sneak back to his room. It just about killed her to bid him a casual goodbye as she boarded the morning COD. Apparently this was going to be one of the longest and most detailed dreams she'd ever had. And honestly, she hoped she'd never wake up.

She wandered through her morning ritual, completely distracted by her recent engagement. It was so unlike anything she had ever felt in her 'other life,' when she had been engaged to Mic Brumby.

Returning to her office from getting a cup of coffee, Mac stopped short just inside the door, startled to see her older self sitting comfortably at the desk.

"Was it what you expected?"

"Excuse me?"

"The difference in your life. Was it what you expected?"

"More than I could ever have asked for." Mac closed the door behind her. She wasn't sure if anyone else could see the Marine general, but she most certainly didn't want anyone to notice her talking to an empty chair if they didn't.

"Then why are you keeping it a secret?"

"I'm not." Mac set her coffee on the desk and marched over to the cabinet, searching blindly for some nonexistent file.

"You're stalling. This is the turn you wanted to see. You should share it with your friends."

Mac stared at the wall ahead of her. Her alter ego was right. Why was she keeping quiet? So what if she woke up soon? The dream was worth it. Slamming the drawer shut, she turned around briskly.

"You're…r i g h t," she trailed off at the sight of the empty chair. This was not only one of the longest dreams she'd ever remembered having, this was by far the oddest dream, but she was loving every minute of it.

Just as with after her last encounter with her older self, time whizzed by. An odd fog brought Mac in and out of situations, watching her life pass quickly to the next stage.

Harriet and Carolyn had been beside themselves with joy for her good news. Both had promised to help in any way possible to plan for the wedding. Harriet would be the Matron of Honor, Carolyn would be a bridesmaid. Brumby wasn't even slightly pleased. He spent the first few days huffing like a storming bull, even getting drunk one night and knocking on Mac's door at two o'clock in the morning, trying to persuade her that Harm would only break her heart. Two pots of coffee later, he'd left with his tail between his legs.

The expected leave in November never came about. Skates wound up accused of dereliction of duty and asked Harm to defend her. Brumby and Bud were sent to the Henry to prosecute. Mac found herself reading her emails from Harm with bated breath, praying every day that he and Mic wouldn't kill each other.

Deciding December would be too hectic, Harm and Mac had chosen Saturday January 9th for the wedding.

They had wanted to keep the wedding simple but didn't want to leave anyone out. Keeter would be flying in to be best man. Harm's old partner, Meg Austin, had agreed to come, as did one of Harm's old friends from Annapolis, Sturgis Turner. Mac was a little disappointed she wasn't going to get to meet the famous Caitlin Pike, but Kate was on some special hush hush assignment for the SecNav and wouldn't be able to fly back for the ceremony.

Mac and Harm had discussed the possibility of selling Harm's apartment and moving somewhere halfway between Pax River and DC, but Mac knew how much having renovated his apartment meant to Harm and she was hesitant to be the reason for selling it. In her case it was just a matter of giving up her lease.

Very few of the squadron had homes within driving distance of the base. Most everyone rented or shared a small apartment in town. In Harm's case, he shared a small place with Tuna. The first weekend Harm was able to make it back to DC, Mac had been on assignment at Pendleton. He had never remembered his apartment being such a lonely place. The next weekend, there were some high level training missions that required he be near the base. After two long weeks of knowing how close, and yet how far Mac was, Harm insisted they find a place to live somewhere in between so he could come home after work like any other husband. Of course, in his case, coming home after work could be at four o'clock in the morning, but the point was, he didn't want to go weeks without seeing his wife while on dry land, the way he would when at sea.

It hadn't taken them long to decide that St. Charles was the perfect little community for what they hoped would become a growing family. After all, there was no need to wait five years for their deal anymore. With the help of a very generous wedding gift from Harm's parents, they were able to buy a lovely new home. If all went as planned, the house would be ready to move into as soon as they returned from their honeymoon.

Occasionally, Mac would spot her older self in a corner observing her behavior. Usually, she'd be nodding her approval. The only time she'd noticed General MacKenzie disagreeing was when Mac had originally suggested Harm keep his apartment in DC.

By the time the wedding day arrived, Mac couldn't believe she was still enjoying this fabulous dream. She'd chosen a simple satin gown, with a hint of beadwork along the sleeves and a low cut back. It looked nothing like the gown she'd chosen for her doomed wedding to Mic, whom she was incredibly surprised to find flirting boldly with Carolyn Imes. Mac hadn't given any thought to what would Mic have done if she hadn't been available. It had never dawned on her that he would go after Carolyn with the same fervor with which he'd pursued her. But she was even more startled at the idea that Carolyn might actually have fallen for him.

Her first inkling that there might be something more serious going on was when the Admiral announced Brumby would be returning to Australia. Mac had thought poor Carolyn was going to fall out of her chair. In an odd sort of way, Mac actually felt a little sorry for her. If she hadn't been in love with Harm, Mic would have been wonderful husband material.

**January 09, 2000 Chapel at Annapolis**

"Are you okay?" Mac looked over at Carolyn.

Carolyn had been putting on her lipstick for over ten minutes, and yet, the tube had never touched her lips. Her hand had been poised, ready to act, while she stared mindlessly at her own reflection.

"Oh, sorry. No, almost ready here." Carolyn forced a smile.

"You're thinking about him, aren't you?" Mac stepped closer to her friend.

"Who?" she feigned.

Tilting her head disbelievingly, Mac raised an eyebrow. Harriet stood to one side, rolling her eyes.

"That obvious, huh?" Carolyn smiled sheepishly. "If it weren't for the wedding, he'd be in Australia already," she sighed. "He's leaving tomorrow."

"I don't know what to tell you. I'm sure something will work out. Fate has a way of bringing the most unexpected changes into fruition. Don't give up hope." Mac dropped her hand softly on her friend's arm. "Honestly."

Mac once again spotted her older self winking at her approvingly. Mac had to admit, she was more than curious to see what might come of this little liaison between Mic and Carolyn.

Meanwhile, Harm stood nervously at the side of the altar. To everyone in the chapel, he was a man to be envied, strong, handsome, and always in control. The truth was, he'd never felt more inadequate. All he could think about was did he really deserve this wonderful woman, and would he be able to make her happy.

They had spent so little time together since he'd been home. Between assignments and the distance from Pax River to DC, he felt as though they were always two ships passing in the night, but not anymore. Starting tomorrow they would be alone in St. Martin for two whole, glorious weeks.

The sound of the wedding march snapped him out of his thoughts. First Carolyn came slowly down the aisle, followed closely by Harriet, but the sight of Mac in white on Admiral Chegwidden's arm took Harm's breath away.

Hands were held, vows were promised, and rings were exchanged. With a few well chosen words, they were pronounced husband and wife, and asked to kiss for the audience. Next, there was more music, the arch of swords, and the lingering call of 'Go Navy' mixed with 'Welcome to the Corps'!

At the reception, Harm danced with his wife at every possible opportunity. When the band struck up the traditional songs for the mother of the groom and her son, and the father of the bride and his daughter, a flash of sheer panic spread across Harm's face. How could no one have thought to tell the band they would not be doing this particular tradition? Out of the corner of his eye he saw Admiral Chegwidden rising to the occasion, but was even more startled to find Frank already at Mac's side without having skipped a beat.

"I hope you don't mind," Frank told her softly. "I've always thought it would be nice to have a daughter."

And so the party continued, perfect in every respect. Mac didn't even question when she saw her older self sitting quietly at a table in the corner, grinning like the proverbial Cheshire Cat.

Later, when she saw the older woman in the seat across the aisle from them during the flight to St. Martin, she wondered if she should mention her to Harm, but brushed the thought away. There was no point, it was all only a dream. She wasn't going to let her own imagination interfere. She was on her way to the perfect honeymoon with Harm.


	3. Chapters 7 thru 9

  
**Chapter 7**

The honeymoon was indeed perfect. Even when it rained, it only gave them good reason to stay indoors. Being entwined in Harm's arms was the happiest place Mac had ever been.

Unlike the bunks in the visiting officer's cabin, the king size bed gave them more than enough room to…maneuver. Their first night as man and wife, Harm had loved her long and slow. When she thought she couldn't possibly find the energy to move a finger, she found herself taking Harm to heights he'd only dreamed of.

Dinners were cut short, sightseeing tours were canceled, and room service learned quickly that the couple in the honeymoon suite tipped well.

When they made their way into town, strolling among the shops hand and hand filled them with a contentment neither had thought possible. They'd tried spending time on the beach, enjoying the sun and free drinks, but the feel of each other's fingertips barely touching across the sand, with the sound of the ocean waves rushing ashore, only succeeded in feeding the hunger they had for each other.

When the time had finally come to say goodbye to the island paradise, with a hair of chagrin, they packed their bags and left their temporary haven. Anticipation of the life ahead filled them with a new sort of contentment.

Life settled into a simplistic pattern, one Mac was certain she could only have had in her dreams. Their house was large and spacious. Too large for only two people, but they knew it wouldn't be long until they were ready to fill it with a baby with his looks and her brains, or perhaps her looks and his brains. Either way, neither cared.

Mac sat watching her life pass before her with a tremendous sense of awe. Never had it occurred to her that she could dream up such a perfect life for herself. When Valentine's Day came along, Harm surprised her with a gourmet meal, dozens of red roses scattered throughout the house, and a bedroom filled with candles and soft jazz.

She dreaded the days when she would be sent away on assignment. She actually looked forward to them once Harm was away, but while he was home, she wanted to sleep by his side in their own bed. She felt a constant knot tightening in her belly as the month of May approached. Time was running out. Unless she found herself waking from this glorious dream, Harm would soon be flying off to the carrier and she'd be home alone, clanking around the big house like Marley haunting Ebenezer Scrooge.

At least she could be thankful for one thing. When Brumby called and requested Carolyn's presence with a 20 year old murder, Mac crossed her fingers and prayed the Admiral wouldn't send her instead. The last thing she needed was to spend Harm's last few weeks stateside running around Australia with Mic Brumby.

"Are you sure this is the right thing to do?" Mac asked, even though it wasn't really any of her business.

"I think so," Carolyn replied, putting a file in the drawer and slamming it shut. "I thought I'd get over it. That it was just one of those things. We email, he's called a few times. I've pretended that he was just across town and not across the world. But the ache hasn't gone away."

"Does he feel the same way?" It would be interesting to see if Carolyn thought so. In her 'other' life, Mac had been completely blindsided by Mic's proposal in Australia. The few times they'd spoken over the phone, he'd given her no indication of what he'd been thinking. They'd only shared the barest of kisses and yet he had pulled out all the stops in asking her to marry him.

"I don't know. He must feel something or he wouldn't continue calling and writing. Right?" Carolyn didn't know what to think anymore.

"I've learned when it comes to men, you never know what to expect." Mac knew it had certainly been true with both Mic and Harm. She hadn't expected either to propose, but she knew the reality of her life without Harm was only a shell of what her dreams with him were.

"I suppose if I don't expect anything, I can't be disappointed," Carolyn looked curiously at Mac, wondering if this was her only reason for coming to talk with her.

"I wouldn't be surprised if Mic has a surprise or two up his sleeve," Mac smiled, nodded her head, and turned as if ready to leave.

"Did you need anything else?" It had been a long time since Mac popped in just to talk. With Harriet in the office only part time, and Mac's recent wedding, well, there hadn't been much time for girl talk.

"No. Just wanted to make sure you were okay with this assignment." Not that Mac had any idea what she would have done if Carolyn hadn't been.

"Thanks, Mac."

One potential crisis averted, Mac spent her drive home considering how to deal with the big empty house. She didn't want to waste precious time while Harm was still home dwelling on what things would be like after he was gone, but it became so she couldn't ignore it anymore than she could ignore the ticking clock inside her.

It had been a long day at work and Harm had gotten home before her. She loved it when she came in the door and smelled something cooking, and was most definitely thankful that Harm just seemed more at home in the kitchen than she did. Even her older self would occasionally pop in to savor the smell of Harm's culinary creations.

"Smells good. What is it?" Mac followed her nose to the kitchen, leaned over, and kissed Harm on the cheek.

"Taste this." Harm held out a large wooden spoon.

Blowing lightly on the spoon, Mac took a slurpy sip. "Mm, that's absolutely delicious."

"I used one of the recipes Gram gave us after the wedding. I suspect she thought you'd be trying them out, but it's been ages since I've had her linguini in white clam sauce." Harm watched Mac walking over to the table, not sure she'd heard a word he'd said. "Is something wrong?" He turned down the burner and followed to sit beside her.

"Hm?"

"What's wrong?" Harm placed his hand on hers and began drawing tiny circles, as was his custom whenever Mac seemed preoccupied.

"Nothing, really. I've been thinking about when you leave."

Harm pulled his chair a little closer. "And?"

"This house is going to seem so empty without you."

"I know what you mean. Even with 5,000 sailors, the ship doesn't feel the same without you. Every time I close my eyes, I picture you huddled beside me in my bunk."

"I've never been in your bunk." Mac curled her eyebrows curiously.

"No, but that doesn't stop me from seeing you there." The smile on Harm's face was almost as wide as the Potomac.

"Still, it's different."

"I know," Harm answered solemnly, gripping her hand more tightly. "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have kept my designator."

"No. You love flying. It's the right thing to do. I'll get used to it. I am a Marine, you know," Mac tried to smile.

"But…"

"Well, we haven't really discussed it, but I was thinking, when you come home for your next tour, maybe we could work on the baby deal a little early." Mac didn't realize she was chewing nervously on her lower lip.

"Would you like to start now?" Harm practically pulled Mac into his lap, his heart almost breaking at the lost look on her face.

"I thought about that, but I'm not sure I want to be six months pregnant the next time you come home." Her cheeks flushed slightly, "I mean, well, I guess it's a little selfish, but I want a little more time alone with just you. At least while I can still see my toes."

Harm dropped his hand on Mac's tummy and pulled her against him with the other.

"What do you say we get in a little practice?" An impish smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

Smiling broadly, Mac draped her arms around Harm's neck. "They do say practice makes perfect." And this was one thing neither Harm nor Mac minded practicing at all.

**Chapter 8**

Rolling over, Mac stretched her arm beside her. She dreaded the feel of the empty bed. This was it, the moment she'd been expecting. The dream was over. All was back to normal. Forcing one eye open she looked at the clock, 0530. She was never off by more than 30 seconds. Throwing back the covers, she grudgingly sat up in bed. There'd be so much to do today.

Clearing the sleep from her eyes, she stood up and stretched, squinting at the bright morning light. Morning light? Blinking away the last remnants of sleep, Mac slowly focused on the room around her. She was still in St. Charles. The dream wasn't over, Harm was simply deployed again. How long had it been? Almost three months.

**JAG HQ****  
October 1, 2000**

"Ma'am, Captain Sebring had an emergency this morning. Your docket is clear. All cases have been rescheduled," Tiner reported stiffly.

"Thanks, Tiner." Mac eagerly clicked open her email. She had thought there wouldn't be time to go over mail until after court, but now she was pleasantly surprised at the turn of events and extra time.

'Hey beautiful. Things are hopping over here. Tuna's got himself a girlfriend. When we made port in Naples, Francesca was doing a show nearby and came by to say hello. She brought her friend Gabriella with her. I have to admit, I don't ever remember seeing Tuna's jaw hit the floor so quickly, LOL.

Anyhow, needless to say they hit it off like two peas in a pod. The guys haven't given him a moment's peace since the news broke. Makes me glad we got married so quickly. I can just imagine the pleasure they would have found at making my life a living hell for dating a Marine.'

Mac had just hit the reply key when Tiner tapped on her door again.

"Sorry to disturb you, ma'am, but the Admiral would like to see you."

"Very well, Tiner. Tell him I'm on my way." Pushing away from her desk, Mac sighed at having to wait. At least she'd had enough time to read what Harm had to say.

Twenty minutes later she was back in her office and on the computer.

'Well, it seems your wife won't have to worry about sleeping alone in that big bed any more. Apparently my language skills are about to be put to use again. For reasons of which I can't even begin to fathom, the Navy is sending me to Russia to help audit their justice system.

I'm not sure which brass is under the delusion that the Russians would actually implement anything an American female Marine would suggest, but at least I'll be distracted.

Did I tell you Brumby landed a job with Larry Kaliski's firm? Carolyn's still walking around on cloud nine. They haven't set the date yet, but I'm hopeful when she gets the wedding ring she'll leave the engagement ring at home. Every time she moves her arm, she practically blinds me. LOL.

Things are picking up for Bud. He'll be sitting second chair to Carolyn on a new espionage case. I have to admit, I wouldn't mind sinking my teeth into that one. Lol.

As for your comrades in arms, I suppose it's a good thing that wives are off limits when it comes to getting razzed by your shipmates. 'Cause no matter how you look at it, you've joined the Corps! LOL.

I don't know yet how long this TAD will be or if I'll have computer access, so, until later. I love you, Mac'

Rabb home Friday November 17 

Mac had unpacked her bags, sorted through the mounds of mail, and now she paced the hallway, impatiently waiting for Harriet.

She needed someone to talk to. This entire situation was unbelievably complicated. It had been so much easier in her world: Harm had been the one sent to Russia, and Harm had been the one to discover his half brother, one Sergei Zhukov. Now Mac had to find a way to explain his father's son to Harm. She suddenly understood how hard it must have been for him to tell his mother about Sergei.

Mac was fairly sure Harm would take it in stride in this world as he had in her world, but with all the circumstances changed, she didn't know if she could honestly predict Harm's reaction this time. Noticing the pair of headlights beaming up the driveway, Mac changed course and rushed to the front door.

"Need any help?" she called out as she approached the minivan.

"Not you too," Harriet sighed. "Bud had me going almost crazy. If you don't know, it's exactly 94.72 miles from your house to Bethesda, an unattainable distance should I suddenly go into labor four weeks early." Harriet waved her arms in exasperation. "Even AJ wasn't THAT early."

Reaching out to take Harriet's overnight bag, Mac chuckled quietly. "You can't blame him, even though I should be the one worrying. Bud spent most of the time you were in labor with baby AJ trapped in an elevator, and if the Admiral hadn't arrived, I honestly don't know what Harm and I would have done."

"Well, I'm just thankful I only had to make two pit stops on the way. My bladder was unusually cooperative for a two hour drive. I do, however, need to visit a man about a horse before we do anything else." Harriet smiled playfully, quickly making her way to the little girl's room before joining Mac in the living room.

"Oh, thanks. This really hits the spot." Harriet sank into the comfortably large easy chair and took a sip of the hot chocolate that Mac had waiting for her.

"It gave me something to do while I was waiting besides wear a hole in the floor."

"That bad?"

"You could say that."

"You sounded pretty shaken on the phone. It's not often I get invited over for a weekend of girl talk." Harriet took another sip, and waited for her friend to fill her in on what was so all-fired important.

"How did you talk Bud into letting you come?"

"It was easy. First, I asked him how often have you've asked me to come spend the weekend. After giving him enough time realize, not many, I then asked him how often have you called saying you needed a friendly ear. And then, once I was sure he was following my drift, I pointed out who took charge when I went into labor with AJ. I also reminded him that if worse comes to worst there's a perfectly good hospital within driving distance," Harriet laughed heartily. "So, now that I'm here, what's wrong? Having trouble with Harm?"

"Oh, no. Nothing like that, but it does involve him." Mac proceeded to tell Harriet all the sordid details of meeting Sergei, the planted evidence, the trial, the assassination plot, the connection with Webb, breaking Sergei out of jail, and a few other miscellaneous tidbits. Mac had been so engrossed in not leaving out any detail that she hadn't noticed Harriet squirming awkwardly in the chair until she'd finished the last part of the story.

"Whew. That sounds like the making of a top ten best seller." Harriet shifted in her seat for the umpteenth time since Mac started talking.

"Are you okay?" Mac's level of concern rose dramatically as she suddenly realized the significance of today's date.

"Well, as much as I'd love to help you resolve this little quandary you find yourself in, I think it may have to wait until after we go to the hospital. My water just broke."

Mac's eyes bolted open wide. "Bud's going to kill me."

Laughing out loud, "Nonsense, but unless you want to deliver your namesake yourself, I strongly encourage you to get me to the hospital."

With the speed of light, and flashing recollections of a hectic day at headquarters a little over a year and a half ago, Mac arrived with Harriet at the emergency room. When the receiving nurse heard that Harriet had only been in labor for a little over an hour with her first child, all the color washed out of her face before she hollered some unintelligible code and half the staff began scurrying about like bees defending their hive.

"It looks like you get to hold my hand this time too," Harriet huffed through clenched teeth.

"Bud's already on his way. I called him while the doctor examined you. He called back to tell me the Admiral and Dr. Walden are going to baby sit." Mac took a deep breath. She wasn't sure she could handle knowing what was going to happen, but she had to be here for Harriet, no matter what.

"You'd think this would get easier with pract…..ice," Harriet panted, crushing Mac's fingers.

"Just breathe, Harriet. Hee hee hee, hoo hoo hoo." Mac breathed with Harriet, wondering if the breathing exercises actually helped when she noticed the smile on the nurse's face crumble. This was it.

"Doctor," the young nurse called quietly.

Harriet continued alternating panting and hissing with clenched teeth, completely indifferent to the now conferencing staff.

Mac on the other hand, panted and huffed in time with Harriet while keeping one eye on the nurse, who had now pulled up what Mac was fairly sure was a sonogram machine.

"Okay, Mrs. Roberts. I'm going to take a quick look," the attending physician smiled. "This will be a little cold." Squirting a cool gel on her abdomen, he continued nonchalantly, "Did your doctor at Bethesda mention any possible complications to you?"

"NO! What complications?" Harriet screeched. It was bad enough trying to stay calm having gone into labor four weeks early. She didn't need to hear the word 'complications' in anyone's vocabulary.

Mac couldn't help but wince as Harriet crushed her fingers more tightly in a panicked grip.

"Take it easy, Mrs. Roberts. It's nothing to worry about, but if the change in the heartbeat means what I think it does…" The doctor paused to look at the picture, his brow crinkled slightly as he focused on the machine. "Yes, it looks like we have a prolapsed cord. We're going to have to go with plan B."

"Plan B?" Harriet's voice teetered on the thin line between panic and terror.

"C-section. The nurses will prep you. It will all be over before you know it," he smiled.

"And the baby?" Harriet and Mac echoed simultaneously.

"I'm sure she'll be just fine. You just take it easy. The last thing your little girl needs now is for Mama's blood pressure to go off the charts." With a rather large reassuring grin, the doctor nodded at Harriet before turning to Mac. "I'm afraid once we move her into the OR you'll have to stay in the waiting room." Concerned with Mac's pallor, he added, "She's going to be fine. They both are."

"Thank you, doctor." Holding back the tears, Mac gave him a watery smile. "Thank you VERY much."

**Chapter 9**

**Patrick Henry  
January 15, 2001**

Harm paced his quarters like a caged lion. He really wanted to be stateside with his wife. Firstly, there had been her recent escapade in Russia. He should have been there to cover her back. He knew it wouldn't have been allowed, but he couldn't help feeling he should have been there none the less.

Then there was the surprise of his brother Sergei. Now wasn't that a mouthful to swallow…brother. Of all the odd things Harm would have expected life to throw his way, finding out, at his age, he had a half brother wasn't one of them. At first it had been a daily battle, struggling with the elation of having a brother, yet at the same time having to deal with the anger that his father would have cheated on his mother. Rationally, Harm had to remind himself his dad had been gone for ten years. His dad had lost all hope of going home, and he deserved at least some happiness in his last years. After all, his mom had found Frank. Yes, it was the rational side of him that eventually won out, but it hadn't been easy, and when he finally snapped out of his self absorbed, brief moment of self pity, he ached for how Mac must have tortured herself worrying about how to tell him the news.

No sooner had Mac gotten home than Harriet had gone unexpectedly into labor, again. If the blasted Seahawk weren't delayed in replacing the Henry, he'd have been home with Mac to help with the controlled chaos that one of Harriet's deliveries could be. But as much as he would have liked to have been with Mac during the birth of her namesake, he knew his Marine could handle whatever surprises Harriet could come up with. After all, she'd been the one who'd practically taken charge at Harriet's unexpected labor with AJ, at least until the Admiral had arrived to save the day. An unexpected c-section was nothing compared to almost having to deliver a baby in a bustling office. Besides, once everyone gets a chance to hold the tiny bundle in their arms, all the chaos and commotion is quickly forgotten.

No, as disturbing as all of those unexpected things were, none of it was as unsettling as the idea that Mac would be working closely with Caitlin Pike. Thoughts of what Kate might 'share' with Mac had Harm wound like an over-tightened guitar string, ready to snap.

Of all the times for there to be a problem with the Seahawk's retrofit, why did it have to be THIS tour? What made it all the more frustrating for him was that it didn't look like the Henry's replacement was going to be underway anytime soon, either.

The waiting was what was killing him. Harm knew Kate should have arrived at Headquarters in DC hours ago. He was hoping Mac would have sent some little note to give him an inkling of what was going on, but then again, that was part of what had him wound so tight. What if she already knew too much and that's why she hadn't written? Surely, Mac wouldn't hold what he'd done in his youthful 'dress whites and gold wings' days against him? No, she wouldn't do that.

As if by magic, as he paced, convincing himself of what he should always have known, his email made the most welcoming of sounds.

'Hey, flyboy. You never mentioned that the first case you worked with Kate was when you flew the CAG in. To hear Kate talk about it, I'm expecting you to come home walking on water. LOL.

From what I can tell, she seems really nice, but it looks like this assignment isn't going to be all smooth sailing.'

Harm swallowed hard and took a deep breath. This was it.

'Apparently she is now the star witness against the nominee for Inspector General. He's been accused of sexual harassment. Kate has no idea who leaked the story, but she's pretty annoyed. Singer and Mattoni are defending, and Singer's chomping at the bit. This could get really ugly really quickly. I'll be prosecuting, Bud will be second chair.'

**JAG Headquarters  
Earlier that day**

If only Harm knew in her world Mac had originally been asked to defend and had to recuse herself. She couldn't honestly in good conscious take the case, especially knowing that Harm had an affair with a junior officer. While it would create a pattern of behavior for Kate, it wouldn't have looked very good on Harm's record. He was the senior officer.

Thankfully in this world, Kate had had enough discretion not to discuss her and Harm's past romp with his wife. There was no need for Mac to recuse herself, and with Harm out of the picture, it made sense the Admiral would choose her to prosecute.

No, Mac would keep the email low-keyed, but maybe let Harm stew just a little bit worrying about how much Kate had told her. What he did before they'd met didn't matter anymore than what she'd done before they met, but still, it didn't hurt to keep him on his toes.

'I love and miss you more than ever, Mac.'

Okay, so there really wasn't any need to make him suffer too much. Wishing the Seahawk would get its act together, Mac pounded on the send key with a small sigh. She really missed him more than she thought humanly possible.

**JAG Headquarters  
****January 25th 2001**

Mac dropped her stack of files on the already overgrown pile that was teetering dangerously to one side of her desk. How was she supposed to get anything done with everyone out on assignments? And now the Admiral was taking off for Italy and leaving her in charge, as if she didn't already have enough to do. She'd been so busy, she hadn't even had time to email Harm with all the news about Dr. Walden and the Admiral's break up, and his sudden trip overseas tomorrow.

She'd been looking forward all morning to opening the email she'd gotten from Harm, but life and Corporal Dunston seemed to have been plotting against her. Finally alone in her office, without any probability of being interrupted again, she clicked on the designated icon.

'Hey beautiful, great news. We sailed into a fishing net. Well, that's not really the great part. Those huge trawler nets wreak havoc on our ships. The great part is it's forcing us to dock in Naples to make repairs. They're estimating it'll take several days. The squadron won't have much to do. It could be mostly just the two of us, if you can get the Admiral to give you a few days off.'

Like that's really going to happen. Mac sat back heavily in her seat when she spotted her older self marching through her office door, a scowl properly entrenched on her brow.

"No need," Mac waved at the now familiar woman. "I know, nothing ventured, nothing gained." With a surge of unexpected courage, or possibly just too tired to know better, either way, she marched herself past the reappearing Marine and straight to the Admiral's office.

"Enter," AJ called at Mac's rather determined knock. "Something on your mind, Colonel?"

"Yes, sir. I was wondering if it would be possible to appoint someone else to replace you during your absence?" Mac stood ramrod straight.

"Are you feeling particularly incompetent today, Colonel?" What the hell did she think she was doing?

"No, sir. It's just that the Henry is docking in Naples due to a fishing net…" Mac paused, momentarily startled by the sly grin that immediately spread across the Admiral's face.

"They do have a way of being a welcomed nuisance, don't they? No need to continue, Colonel. I understand. I'll arrange for Mattoni to sit in. My flight tomorrow will be arriving in Naples mid-day." AJ hesitated a moment at Mac's curious expression. "The idea of checking up on Harm was the inspiration for this trip to visit Francesca," he explained quickly. "If you don't mind sharing, perhaps you and the Commander would be willing to join us for dinner. "

"We would love to, sir." As long as she was with Harm, any plans were wonderful. Mac couldn't help the smile that took over her face. She was finally going to see Harm again.

**Patrick Henry  
Short time later**

'If I can get my act in gear, I've got time to catch tonight's flight, which will put me in Naples around noon tomorrow your time. I can hardly wait. The Admiral's going to Italy too. He wants to join us for dinner one night. Gotta run, have so much to do. Love you.'

Harm sat back, his brow curling curiously. Why is Mac bringing the Admiral?


	4. Chapters 10 thru 12

**Chapter 10**

**Next Day  
Patrick Henry**

"Oh, for crying out loud, you'd think you were an inmate on death row. Will you stop with the pacing already!" Tuna called out from the top bunk, shaking his head at his cabinmate's impatience.

"Sorry, man. It's just that Mac should have arrived over an hour ago. I thought they'd have let us off this tub by now." Harm continued pacing restlessly, then suddenly stopped short. "You look way too patient. What happened to Gabriela?"

"She, Francesca, and Francesca's father and mother aren't arriving until tomorrow," Tuna replied rather glibly.

Now Mac's email made sense. She wasn't coming with the Admiral. He was coming to visit Francesca and her mother. Turning to begin another round of pacing, Harm looked back towards Tuna, "Did you say Francesca's mother?"

"Yeah, why?" Tuna sat up slightly.

"No reason. I just didn't know the Admiral and his ex-wife got along that well."

"I don't know that they do. Gabriela didn't come right out and say so, but I got the impression that this is going to be a surprise to both of them." Tuna leaned back in his bunk again.

Standing frozen in place, Harm rolled his eyes. All he could hope was that he and Mac could stay out of the line of fire.

**Grand Hotel Cocumella  
****Naples Italy  
Later that afternoon**

Harm had made his way to the hotel Francesca had recommended with the impatience of a schoolboy on his way to his first major league ball game. Even though he and Mac had been married for over a year, his heart skipped a beat when the concierge handed him the key and announced, "Your wife has already checked in."

He had expected to be stateside to celebrate their first anniversary but the delay in the Seahawk's retrofit had put an end to that idea. Hopefully, these few days would make up for having missed the actual date.

Eagerly sliding the keycard into the door, Harm entered the room, immediately scanning for signs of his wife. Closing the door behind him, and dropping his bag on the floor, he glanced at the empty bed before noticing the sound of running water. A sly grin crept across his face.

Having left his clothes in a puddle by the bathroom door, Harm slipped inside to find the room filled with steam. Momentarily frozen in place, a rush of desire pulsed through him as he watched Mac slowly lather her body. Through the clear shower curtain he could follow every movement of her curvaceous form provocatively calling to him.

Silently stepping closer, Harm was about to ask to join her when she turned around, tilting her head back under the powerful spray of water. The motion of her hands running through her hair, rinsing out the unwanted shampoo, caused her breasts to rise and fall in the most mesmerizingly sensuous vision he'd ever seen.

Harm hadn't realized he'd gasped loudly at the sight of his luscious wife until Mac jumped with a start at the sound. Seeing a large grin slide across her face at the recognition of his presence, he pushed the curtain aside and stepped in. "Need someone to wash your back?"

Thoughts of all the times he had dreamt of seeing Mac step out of his bath flashed through his mind. None of them compared to the reality of sharing a shower with his wife.

Somehow, getting clean was no longer an issue. The two lingered in the intimate closeness, unwilling to leave their new lover's haven even for food.

Ordering room service, they enjoyed a quiet dinner on the balcony overlooking the Bay of Naples before curling into each other's arms again, and again.

"Do you think anyone would care if we never left our room?" Harm asked, squinting at the morning light rudely invading their private world.

"If you miss movement, someone will." Mac buried herself deeper into Harm's shoulder.

"Okay, then. What if we stay in bed until the ship leaves?" Harm placed a feather light kiss across her temple.

"Works for me. What about the Admiral? He's expecting us to join him for dinner. He should by arriving sometime today."

"And Marcella," Harm sighed.

"And who?"

"Marcella, the Admiral's ex-wife. Apparently since his breakup with Sidney, Francesca has taken it upon herself to play matchmaker."

"Does she have a death wish?" Mac sat up.

"I've considered that possibility. Incredible stupidity was the other option." Harm smiled, pulling Mac back down. "I suspect if we hide in here long enough, we could miss the fireworks."

"I suppose we could make our own fireworks." Mac reached up playfully, nibbling on Harm's chin.

"Mmn," Harm moaned, as the two sank back under the covers.

By 1900 hours they had thought they would successfully be able to remain hidden from the rest of the world another day, and then the phone rang loudly.

"Rabb," Harm mumbled.

"Don't tell me I'm waking you up at this hour?" Francesca's voice came through the line.

"Just relaxing," Harm smiled knowingly.

"Good. Then you and your wife can join Papa and me for dinner. Meet you in the lobby in one hour. Is that enough time for the two of you to find your clothes?" Francesca laughed playfully.

"Never mind. One hour, in the lobby." Harm hung up the receiver, and turned towards Mac. "Well, she didn't mention her mother, so maybe we worried over nothing."

"What did she say?"

"For us to join her and her Papa for dinner. We're meeting in the lobby in an hour."

**Hotel Lobby  
One hour later**

Hand in hand, Harm and Mac stepped out of the elevator and around the corner when Mac stopped suddenly in front of Harm.

"Look," she whispered softly in his direction.

"What?" Harm asked, almost falling over her when she stopped short.

"I see the Admiral and Francesca, but look at the woman who just walked up to them. The Admiral doesn't look too pleased." Mac stepped back behind a rather large potted palm, dragging Harm beside her.

"MAC…This isn't a Peter Sellers movie." Harm was none too happy to be hiding from the Admiral.

"Will you just look?"

Glancing in the Admiral's direction, Harm nodded his head. "That's Marcella, alright. Oh, dear. You're right, the Admiral doesn't look happy. Look at the way his shoulders just stiffened. Do you think Francesca is aware that he can kill a man, or woman, eighteen ways with his bare hands?"

"Haaaarm."

"I know, but we can't stand here all night."

"Wait, they're shaking hands. That woman has a beautiful smile. Francesca gets hers honestly."

Harm looked down at the top of his wife's head. There was no way he was touching that comment with a ten foot pole.

"Is that a smile? Can you see if the Admiral is smiling?" Mac looked up at Harm.

"No, but Francesca is grinning from ear to ear and it looks like AJ's not standing so stiffly anymore."

"The Admiral is looking at his watch. How much you want to bet he's wondering where we are?" Mac cursed her perfect sense of time. They'd been standing behind this tree for almost ten minutes, making them seven minutes late.

"Hey, it looks like they're going to sit down and wait for us." Harm watched as the three people shifted around near the sofa and chairs.

"Is that my imagination or did the Admiral just choose to sit next to his ex instead of in the empty chair across the way?" Mac looked up at Harm again, her eyebrows high in surprise.

"Not your imagination. I guess Francesca knew what she was doing. Shall we join them or are you developing a fondness for palms?"

Tugging his hand, Mac smacked him lightly in the arm before making her way to the Admiral.

"There you are," AJ announced, standing up to greet them. "I was beginning to wonder if we were going to have to have dinner without you."

"Sorry, we were…" Harm started.

"Held up a moment," Mac interrupted.

"I forgot to ask. Are Tuna and Gabriela joining us?" Harm looked at Francesca, as Marcella mouthed curiously at AJ, 'Tuna?'

"They have decided to stay in their room this evening and 'relax,' Francesca smirked suggestively.

Turning the appropriate shades of red, Harm and Mac followed Francesca to the dining room, surprised to see the Admiral offer Marcella his arm. All in all, this could prove to be a very interesting few days.

**Chapter 11**

**  
****April 2001  
JAG HQ**

The ship finally returned to port in February, the squadron having flown the birds home a few days early. Harm and Mac immediately fell into a familiar routine, as though Harm had never been gone. Harm would report to work daily at Pax River and Mac would make the same old trek into DC. Once they were home again, their time was their own and usually spent together. Often military wives talked about the difficult adjustment period when their husbands first returned home, and yet, with her and Harm, they slipped into their roles like a hand in a glove. Maybe if things had really gone this way instead of being just a dream, it wouldn't have been so easy for them, but in her heart Mac knew this was exactly how it would have been for them.

It wasn't that long after he'd been home when Harm's orders for his next tour came in. Starting in June, he was to attend the Naval War College in Newport Rhode Island. At least he'd be closer there than out in the middle of the Mediterranean. Considering the honor it was to attend, it appeared his rather unique career path hadn't hurt him as much as had been predicted when he first left JAG and returned to the fleet.

Mac was continuously flabbergasted that she hadn't woken up yet from this incredible dream. Surely she needed to wake up, to go to work, something. For someone who hardly needed any sleep, this dream was probably the cause of the longest night's sleep she'd ever have.

Fully engrossed in the wonderful changes in her life, Mac hardly ever saw her older self anymore. She wondered what it was she was supposed to learn from this. It was too late, she couldn't really go back in time and change it all, but she could change how she dealt with Harm. Maybe it was time for her to make a move as she'd done that day that she'd called for Harm to stop at the elevator. Maybe it was time she stopped dancing as well.

Mac looked up from her reverie as Admiral Chegwidden tapped lightly on her door.

"Yes, sir?" Mac stood up.

"Sit down, Mac. This isn't business." AJ took the seat across from her.

"As you know, Marcella has been visiting for the last few weeks, and she suggested that it might be good for morale if I were to have a small gathering to celebrate Brumby's and Commander Imes' engagement, " AJ sighed before continuing. "I'm not convinced it would be appropriate for me to do so, though I would be more than willing to volunteer the use of my home."

Recognizing a fishing expedition when she saw one, Mac smiled. "I would be honored to throw Carolyn and Mic an engagement party at your home. With your permission, sir."

"Thank you, Colonel. Marcella is chomping at the bit to throw a party, and has gladly offered to do most of the work. If you would just see to it that this doesn't outdo any events given for Charles and Diana, I'd be grateful." Standing up, AJ nodded thankfully at Mac, and took his leave. He was never comfortable with discussing personal matters at work.

**May 12, 2001  
****Admiral Chegwidden's home**

The date hadn't escaped Mac's notice. This was the same day as her and Mic's engagement party in the real world. This dream was definitely not short on ironies. She wouldn't object to having a chance to say a word or two to her elusive older self. Of course, it wouldn't do any good for her to bicker with her own imagination, now would it?

"You okay?" Harm asked as they walked up to the Admiral's porch.

"Yeah, just thinking about the tricks life plays on you." Mac attempted to reassure Harm with a soft smile.

"Colonel, Commander." AJ opened the door.

"Sorry we're late, sir," Mac began to explain.

"No, need, Colonel. Marcella and Tiner have everything in order."

Smiling thankfully at the Admiral, Mac almost fell over when she spotted Marcella standing across the room chatting with Gunny, and …NO…it couldn't be. Gravitating helplessly in Gunny's direction, Mac dragged Harm along side her.

"Ah, Colonel," Marcella called out watching the couple approach.

"Everything is perfect. You've done a wonderful job." Mac's heart began racing a beat faster as the other woman talking to Marcella turned around fully.

"You know the Gunny." Looking at Harm, Marcella waved towards Gunny Galindez.

"Evening, sir."

"Good to see you, Gunny." Harm extended his hand.

"I don't believe you've met my girlfriend. Commander and Colonel Rabb…" Gunny turned to the woman standing between him and Marcella, "Renee Peterson. She's a director."

Mac tried desperately not to let her jaw drop, but she wasn't sure if she was at all successful. Mindlessly, she extended her hand to the blonde woman. "Nice to meet you."

Harm mumbled similar greetings, eyeing the woman curiously. "A director? Must be very interesting work."

"Mostly just commercials," Rene smiled broadly, through the layers of lip gloss.

"That's how we met. During the recruitment commercial," Gunny offered.

"If he had been Navy instead of a Marine, he would have been the perfect lead. You wouldn't have been so bad to work with either, Commander." Renee smiled, a little too playfully.

"I didn't realize you'd been dating that long," Mac let slip, not missing the obvious glare Renee shot Gunny's way. Obviously Mac wasn't the first to point out that tidbit of information to the Gunny

"Yes, ma'am," he smiled.

"If you'll excuse us, I think we need to find the guests of honor." Taking a firm hold of Harm's arm, Mac very possessively turned in the opposite direction.

"Did I miss something back there?" Harm inquired curiously.

"No." Mac headed for the front door, needing a little fresh air about now.

Harm followed her out onto the Admiral's porch, curious about the change that had suddenly overcome his wife.

"You look upset." Harm set his arms behind him, leaning on the rail.

"I'm not. She was just flirting with you and it made me a little uncomfortable."

"I wouldn't exactly call that flirting, and if you ask me she looks pretty attached to Gunny. Or at least she's trying to be," Harm chuckled lightly. "Besides, she's not my type."

"Oh, really?" Now this Mac could find amusing.

"No, she's not."

"Why not?" Mac pressed.

"Well, for one thing, I'm partial to brunettes." Harm wiggled a brow at her playfully. "I'm also fond of the natural look. That woman has on enough makeup to cover half the state. Not to mention, since when are ruffles in fashion? She looks like Marie Antoinette with those sleeves." He paused a moment to look at Renee through the window. "I wouldn't have pictured Gunny with someone like that either. She seems so…shallow."

Mac smiled to herself. Maybe this was her dream, but it proved her right just the same. Rene should never have happened.

Tiner and Marcella had done a splendid job. With a few minor exceptions, although Mac wasn't sure Renee's unexpected presence could be considered minor, the majority of tonight's engagement passed similarly to hers and Mic's. Wisely, Marcella had eliminated meatballs from the menu. Even though Bud had spent the entire evening without a tie thanks to Little AJ's peanut butter, at least he hadn't had to wear an apron most of the evening.

Without meaning to, Harm and Mac had once again spent a great deal of time talking privately on the porch. This time, however, the conversation had taken a decidedly more intimate tone. Where before they had been walking away from each other, tonight they stood close together. Where they had previously talked of the times they didn't connect, tonight they lingered on the sweetness of the times they had shared. When Tiner came to get them for the toast, he stuttered awkwardly at interrupting the passionate kiss.

Standing next to Harm, their hands entwined tightly together, Mac marveled at how a simple gesture by a closing elevator door could reap such change in the lives of so many.

**Chapter 12**

**Rabb home  
0200 hours  
Following week**

As Ops Officer, Harm was supervising night training again and wouldn't be home for hours. As a matter of fact, it was very likely he'd be home just around the time Mac would be leaving for the office. It was happening more often lately, but just seeing him, even if only for a few minutes was enough to brighten her days.

Mac had been having a hard time sleeping without him. It happened every time he deployed too, but her sleep wasn't usually affected by his night flying. Tossing over, and banging the pillow mercilessly, she couldn't help but wonder if the restlessness simply meant she would be waking up soon. It had been some time since her older self had appeared to nudge her in the right direction. Mac couldn't help but think that might mean it would soon be time for this wonderful dream to end. Perhaps she was already teetering in that semi conscious, pre-awakening state between dream and reality. Of course, she could also blame it on that horrible new Chinese restaurant they'd ordered lunch from yesterday. Even though Bud had insisted it was the most delicious meal he'd ever eaten, Mac had used every ounce of her marine control not to hurl at the first bite.

Closing her eyes once more, she forced herself to think of pleasant things: making love with the sounds of the ocean rushing ashore, dining on a moonlit patio, sleeping in with the smell of bacon frying. Bacon frying? Rolling over, Mac took a whiff. It wasn't a dream, she smelled bacon. Sitting up, Mac grabbed her robe and followed the tasty scent.

"Morning, beautiful." Harm grinned at his sleepy wife.

"Bacon?"

"And a cheese and mushroom omelet, with toast, and fresh orange juice."

"Wow. What did I do to deserve this?" Mac stole a piece of bacon from the plate.

"Well, I didn't want you to oversleep again, like yesterday. I thought this would be nicer than a blaring alarm clock."

"You got that one right." Mac couldn't believe she had overslept yesterday morning. She never overslept, no matter how bad a night's sleep she'd had. Taking a seat at the table, she watched Harm flipping the eggs. When the time came, he was going to have to teach their children how to cook.

**JAG HQ  
0745**

"Morning, ma'am. Bright and early today." Bud met Mac in the hall, walking with her to the break room. Reaching the coffeepot before her, he turned in time to notice her stopping short at the break room door. "Coffee's almost ready. I think Tiner's trying to make up for the lunch yesterday. It smells like it's marine grade." He waved the fresh pot out for Mac to smell.

"Thanks, Bud. I think I'll skip coffee this morning." With the speed of light, Mac had turned on her heel and made a beeline for the ladies room. Taking a deep breath before swallowing hard, she decided she was really going to have to stay away from that new restaurant. Her stomach was still feeling the consequences.

What Mac hadn't noticed in her hasty escape was the odd expression on Bud's face as he held the coffeepot up in midair. Deciding it might be better to skip coffee himself, he turned to the fridge and pulled a banana out of his lunch.

Once back in her office, Mac could see Bud conferring secretively with his wife. Her curiosity piqued, she was about to stand up and make sure everything was all right when Bud knocked softly at her door.

"Excuse me, ma'am?"

"Come in, Bud." Mac's concern heightened when Bud closed the door behind him. "Is everything okay?"

"Actually, I was about to ask you the same question."

"Excuse me?"

"Well." Setting the banana on the desk, Bud looked unsure of where to begin. "I thought this might make you feel better. A banana first thing in the morning would help settle Harriet's stomach. Of course, the smell of coffee always got to her anyway, though I don't think Chinese food was a problem. Now if she got within a hundred feet of Greek food, it was a lost cause. Most people love the smell of baklava, not Harriet…" Bud rambled.

"Bud…"

"Sorry, ma'am. It's just that you mentioned you were late to work yesterday because you overslept, and everyone else in the office thought the new Chinese restaurant was wonderful, except you. Now this morning, you turned your nose up at the smell of strong coffee, and my guess is you didn't run to the ladies room to use the head. Ma'am," he added respectfully.

"And your point, Bud?"

"Well, ma'am, Harriet and I think you're pregnant."

"Harriet and you?"

"Well, mostly me, but Harriet agrees the symptoms do fit." Bud sat back, hoping he hadn't just ticked off a superior officer. "The banana will help settle your stomach."

Reaching for the banana, Mac looked as if she'd never seen one before. In almost slow motion, she glanced up at Bud, "Thank you. I…I hadn't considered that possibility."

**December 23, 2001  
JAG HQ**

Bud had been right. She was indeed pregnant, less than one month, but far enough along for the early signs of morning sickness to have set in. Within a few days she was in full morning upheaval and loving every minute of it. Although she would have preferred a dream without morning sickness, in an odd sort of way, she absolutely loved all it implied.

Harm, on the other hand, reacted as though she was suffering from some life-threatening malady. From the moment she'd told him the good news, he hovered over her incessantly. The slightest sign of nausea, or tiredness, and he fawned like a mother hen. Originally she had thought having Harm away at NWC was going to be challenging. As it turned out, having him only able to come home on breaks or long weekends gave her much-needed room to move onto the next stages of pregnancy without being smothered by Harm's overprotective streak. The fourth of July, Labor Day, Columbus Day, and Thanksgiving had all been interesting adventures in impending parenthood. Just the thought of him stuffing pillows under her already raised feet brought a smile to her face. Who would have known?

"Colonel," Petty Officer Jennifer Coates spoke.

"Mm?" Mac had allowed her mind to wander while waiting for Judge Helfman.

"I asked, do you really think you can get me out? Of the Navy, I mean."

"If that's what you want." This was going to be a challenge for Mac. She had no way of knowing if she'd be able to have the same influence on the young Petty Officer as Harm had had in the real world. She was having a hard time convincing herself that things didn't really matter. This dream had gone on for so long, and every minute detail felt so real. She couldn't help but worry about Jennifer's future.

Within a few minutes, all had transpired once again as it had years ago in the real world. Jennifer was remanded to her attorney's custody. Being eight months pregnant, Mac was in no mood to go schlepping through everything Harm had. With a quick phone call to the Restricted Barracks at Anacostia, she was able to discover that there would be no place for Jen at the inn. Now she just had to decide if she should try the Reverend Coates, or if somehow her pregnant form would induce a more human reaction from the man than Harm had received.

No, it wasn't a chance she was willing to take.

"It looks like we have a small problem, Petty Officer. Do you have any family that you would like to spend the holiday with? Someone trustworthy?"

"I have a brother," Jen suggested.

"I see." Mac flipped open Jen's file. "And his name would be?" She could see Jen deflate at the realization that Mac wouldn't be that easy to snow.

"Now that I think about it, I believe he was going to be out of town. No, ma'am. There's no one."

Mac's heart tightened at the sound of Jen's saddened voice, 'No one'.

"Then Petty Officer, it looks like you're stuck with me." Holding back the small sigh of relief, Mac waddled ahead of Jennifer, praying that all went well.


	5. Chapters 13 thru 15

**Chapter 13**

Much to her relief, things appeared to be going well. Chloe and Jen spent the balance of the day baking Christmas cookies with Harm while Mac listened to the laughter, enjoying the free time with her feet up on the sofa.

As tired as she was in her eighth month, Mac wouldn't complain if this dream lasted forever. Turning her head towards the laughter coming from the kitchen, she hesitated a minute to really appreciate all that was going on around her. She wondered if her mind and fate would allow the dream to continue long enough for her to have the privilege of meeting and holding her newborn baby, a reality that would never be in her endometriosis-riddled real world.

Chloe's dad had picked her up early the next day, giving Mac the chance to visit one-on-one with Jen, as she had done in her previous life.

"I would have thought you and the Commander had picture perfect childhoods. Is his brother really in a Chechen prison camp?"

"As far as we know." Mac took a sip of her tea.

"All I've ever wanted was a good job, a good man, maybe a couple of kids. Two out of three would be okay."

"That makes you just like the rest of us."

"Yeah, but you've got the good man, the career, and now a baby on the way."

"You could have the good career if you stay in the Navy. Your evals are all good. There's a future there. You're still young. There's plenty of time to meet that good man, then the kids will come," Mac smiled. Now all she had to wait for was how tonight turned out. With the Corvette tucked safely away in the garage, not nearly as far along in the restoration as Sturgis and Harm had progressed in her world, she had no idea what was to come.

That night at the Roberts', Mac waited nervously for Singer's shrill voice to begin screaming accusations when it suddenly dawned on her that a pre-emptive strike might be in order. Paying close attention to when Lauren made her way to the rest room, Mac searched out little AJ. "And how is Aunt Mac's favorite boy tonight?"

Making every effort to keep the young boy entertained with a new storybook, Mac let out a sigh of relief when she saw Lauren rush back into the bathroom, emerging with a satisfied look on her face, fastening the gaudy bauble to her wrist.

By one o'clock that morning, Mac was dozing soundly on the sofa waiting for Harm to return from his annual visit to the wall. While he had wanted her to come along, she had been beyond too tired to make the trek out.

In her semi-conscious state, she thought she could hear male voices.

"Evening, sir." Jen rushed to the front door when she heard Harm coming home, raising her finger to her lips to indicate a need for quiet. "The Colonel fell asleep on the sofa watching 'It's A Wonderful Life'," she whispered.

"Thanks, Jennifer. I'd like you to meet my brother. Sergeant Sergei Zhukov, Petty Officer Jennifer Coates." Harm turned to hang his coat on the hook, oblivious to the two people momentarily frozen in place.

"Nice to meet you," Jennifer finally offered her hand.

"The pleasure is all mine, fair lady."

This time Harm noticed something different, but couldn't quite put his finger on it. "Let me take your coat, and we can let Mac know you're here." Harm reached out for Sergei's coat, wondering why the man hadn't taken it off yet.

"I don't know that I want to wake the Colonel if she is sleeping. I'm sure she is need of her rest." Sergei handed Harm his coat without taking his eyes off of Jen.

Okay. Harm didn't need to be hit over the head with a sledgehammer. Now he got it. Taking a deep breath, he supposed there could be worse things in life than his brother falling for a prison inmate.

"I don't think Mac would forgive me if I didn't tell her you were here. We've all been very worried about you. And if you're going to be staying with us, you're going to have to call your sister-in-law something other than Colonel."

"I thought I heard voices." Mac appeared in the entryway.

"Hey, gorgeous." Gladly ignoring the two lovestruck puppies by the door, Harm took two long strides towards his wife. Gently patting his hand on her pronounced tummy, he pulled her into his arms for a proper hello kiss.

"Now that's worth waking up for," Mac grinned happily.

"Do they do this public display often?" Sergei asked quietly.

"Pretty much, yeah. I think it's kind of sweet how much they love each other." Jen watched Harm and Mac a few seconds before following their lead into the other room.

Over the next few days, Mac watched the interaction between Sergei and Jen with keen interest. Jen had spent the better part of Christmas day indoctrinating him with old movies, using every opportunity to teach him American slang. As the day progressed, they'd slowly begun sitting closer and closer until by bedtime, Jen had fallen asleep with her head on Sergei's shoulder.

Despite the compelling argument Mac made for Jen's new attitude, she was still given token brig time. Jen was grateful, nonetheless. She knew that the penalty could have been much worse. Her only regret was that her time with Sergei was about to end. It hadn't occurred to her that she could become so attached to someone in such a short span of time. The night before, when they had sat out on the back porch watching the stars, Sergei had promised to visit her if it was allowed. Then with an incredible tenderness, he asked permission to kiss her goodnight.

Stepping up to the bailiff, Mac turned her back to the gallery. "Maybe, once the courtroom has cleared, we could let them have a minute to say goodbye?"

"That would be against regs, ma'am." The tall sailor glanced down to see Mac slowly rubbing circles on her large tummy, a very non Marine-like expression of empathy on her face. "Well, maybe a minute wouldn't hurt," he smiled.

Things slowly returned to normal after the holidays. When Harm returned to NWC in January, Mac discovered it was a nice help having Sergei around. Apparently cooking skills ran on the Rabb side of the family. Not a single night went by where Sergei didn't have a delicious dinner ready for Mac when she got home. If she hadn't been so tired all the time, being permanently pregnant could have had its perks.

Harm, on the other hand, was getting more and more anxious as Mac drew closer to her due date. If Sergei weren't home to keep an eye on her, Mac was convinced Harm would have gone completely off the deep end.

When Mac's water broke at three o'clock in the morning, she thanked God she'd gotten at least a few good hours sleep, and carefully walked over to Sergei's room. Not meaning to startle him, Mac was taken slightly by surprise when he sprang out of bed with the speed of light. He would have made a great Marine. It wasn't smart to wake a sleeping Marine either.

Though Mac would have preferred waiting to call Harm until it was closer to the departure time of the next flight out of Providence, Sergei wasn't interested in facing the wrath of Harm if he didn't phone his brother immediately and insisted Mac not wait to inform Harm. Six hours and forty seven minutes later, Harm was finally at her side in the hospital.

Sergei paced patiently in the waiting room. He'd dutifully stayed at Mac's side until Harm had arrived. By the time lunchtime came around, the contractions were stronger and closer together, and Sergei found it much easier to pace silently, and away from Mac's painful grimaces. He'd always had a healthy respect for mothers, but after spending the last few hours with his sister-in-law, it was even stronger.

Around 1630, the first wave of JAG personnel began to arrive. Sturgis had managed to secure early and rode into town with the Admiral. Half an hour later, Mic Brumby arrived with a stuffed bear the size of the waiting room. Another hour passed by before Bud, Harriet, and Carolyn came rushing down the hall.

"Any word yet?" Harriet asked impatiently.

"She's progressing nicely," AJ barked.

"I see," Harriet sighed. "What time did she go into labor again?" She knew it had been the middle of the night, but somehow it seemed like this was taking too long.

"Three o'clock," Sergei offered, looking up at the clock on the wall. "Fifteen hours and ten minutes ago. Is that not a long time?" he turned to Harriet, as if having suddenly read her thoughts.

"Not for a first baby," AJ added more softly. "Marcella was in labor with Francesca for thirty-four hours."

Looking up at the stunned group, AJ couldn't help but chuckle. "Don't worry, I'm sure the Colonel won't need that long. Francesca has never been on time for anything in her life."

As if on cue, Harm came prancing out of the birthing room.

"Well?" half the room echoed.

Harm quickly glanced around. Harriet and Bud, and Carolyn and Mic were gripping their spouse's hands as though they were waiting to hear which couple had won the lottery. Sturgis, Sergei, and the Admiral each took a step closer, as if that would help Harm make the announcement more quickly.

"It was a little iffy there for a while. The baby had his elbow up by his ear, giving Mac a hard time, but they're both doing well now." Harm let out the heavy breath he'd been holding since the first moment his son's heartbeat had dropped.

"His?" Harriet repeated.

"That's right. Mathew Harmon Rabb, eight pounds, eleven ounces, and 23 inches long."

**Chapter 14**

"He's beautiful isn't he?"

Mac was startled by the familiar older voice.

"Haven't seen you for a while." Mac glanced over at Harm's sleeping form sprawled across the uncomfortable chair, and then tightened her grip ever so slightly on the nursing baby.

"You really should have insisted he go home and get some rest. He can be stubborn, but he loves you enough to do whatever makes you happy."

"He always has, hasn't he?" Mac's eyes stayed focused on her husband as he slept. A small smile settled on her lips at the near perfection of the moment.

"He has." This time the old woman smiled knowingly at the sound of Mac's words.

"Is it almost time?" A cold feeling had been gnawing at Mac. She was sure her time in this dream world was almost up.

"Not yet. There are still things that need to be made right."

Mac glanced down at baby Mathew, wondering what could possibly be more right than this when she heard Harm stir.

"I thought you were talking to someone," Harm mumbled, straightening in his chair.

Looking over to the now empty chair where the older marine had been sitting a moment before, Mac smiled back at Harm. "Just thinking out loud. You need to go home and get some shuteye. We'll still be here when you get back."

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, I know, but I'd still feel better if you got at least a few hours sleep in a real bed that you actually fit in. Please?"

Harm couldn't resist the tone in her voice at her last words. If he could, he would give her the moon on a silver platter.

"Okay, but I'll be back by breakfast."

"Agreed," Mac smiled. He really was perfect, despite his quirks.

Rabb home 

**St Charles Maryland  
May 2002**

Leaving Mathew in his crib, Mac made herself a cup of tea and settled down for a much needed rest. The visit to the doctor had gone as she'd hoped. He'd given her a clean bill of health to return to work. It had been a bit challenging being on virtual bed rest.

Mathew's little episode with his elbow by his ear had left Mac pretty badly torn up. What no one had expected was for the bleeding to continue internally after the suturing, resulting in a rather large hematoma that made it impossible for her to sit. She'd spent the better part of the last month only able to sit up using an inflatable donut. Today was only the second day she'd been sitting comfortably without any such assistance. It was such a relief.

The one thing she wasn't so happy about was leaving Mat in day care. She loved every minute of holding and loving on him, and wasn't sure how well she was going to take to not being able to do that for over eight hours in a day. Still this was something she needed to do.

Mat was learning to take longer and longer naps. Mac was still enjoying her quiet time when Harm came through the door.

"Hey, handsome. How's my COMNAVAIR's 'Special Assistant for Tactical Air Combat Tasking' doing?" Mac tried not to trip over her own tongue.

"He's doing fine, but the Liaison to CENTCOM part of me is still wondering what I'm doing in that little cubby hole surrounded by enough brass to blind half the building. I keep expecting some two-star to ask me to fetch his coffee." Harm let out a rather large sigh.

Two months ago when he'd received his orders, he'd been struck by the irony that 9/11 had actually been a good thing for his career. There was many a lowly Commander who would kill to be stationed at the Pentagon in the direct line of vision of the military's movers and shakers.

Harm was just thankful he would be spending most of his time in DC, which would keep him close to Mac and the baby. Other times he'd ferry back and forth from CENTCOM in Tampa and its forward location in Qatar.

The exact parameters of his job description were still somewhat vague. He suspected the intention behind his newly created post was to bend said parameters to fit whatever unplanned situation might present itself in this new war on terror. The potential vastness of his duties undoubtedly designed to best use his unique perspective as both a lawyer and an aviator.

With his first full week of duty behind him, he was quickly adapting to mostly sitting in meetings. After all, that wasn't a far cry from almost 11 months of classes. It was being one of the most junior officers in the room that was still going to take some getting used to.

"Well, you and I both know there's no better man to determine the status of air operational issues. As soon as you get your feet, I'm sure you'll start to find yourself in the thick of things. No body is being left out anymore." Mac draped her arms lightly around her husband's neck, gave him a sweet kiss on the lips, and then a quick peck on the nose. " Mat is still sleeping. I'll go heat up supper."

"Sounds good. I'm starving. How did it go with the doctor today?" Harm followed Mac into the kitchen.

"Glowing reviews. I can return to work on Monday." Mac tried not to let the few doubts she had show.

"You're okay with that?" Harm nuzzled up behind her, weaving his arms around her waist.

"I think so." Leaning back against his shoulder for a moment, she glanced up at his chin. "At least, I know I have to try."

"Good enough for me." Harm kissed the top of her head and grabbed a cherry tomato from the bowl in the sink just as Mat's tiny voice could be heard through the baby monitor. "I'll get him." Harm backed out of the kitchen, popping one more tomato into his mouth, and winking at his wife.

Having set everything on the table, Mac quietly padded to the baby's room. Standing in the doorway, she watched in awe as her large husband cradled their tiny infant. She had spent years praying for this day, only to have to mourn its loss to endometriosis. This all seemed so very real. She almost started to wonder if her real world was the nightmare and this was to be her reality.

"How long have you been standing there?" Harm kissed his wife on the forehead.

"Not long. You're so good with him."

"I had a good teacher." Harm leaned in to kiss his wife more fully when the phone rang.

"I'll get it. Dinner's on the table." Mac hurried to the nearest phone.

"Hello…Evening Admiral…. Yes. Clean bill of health. I'll be able to return to full duty on Monday…. Mmm hmm... I see… Yes, sir… Understood... No, sir… Yes. Thank you." Mac dropped the handset into its cradle, holding on a little longer than she should have.

Harm listened intently to the one-sided conversation. His curiosity piquing with each additional comment, concern flooded his system when she finally ended the call.

"What was that all about?" He asked, setting the baby down in the carrier.

"That was Admiral Chegwidden. It seems the President has called a Tribunal. He and Sturgis will be defending. I'm to sit first chair for the prosecution." Swallowing hard, she continued. "On the Seahawk."

**Chapter 15**

"When do you leave?" Harm asked softly, his tone indicative of the enormity of his wife's declaration.

"Tomorrow. I have so much to do." Walking over to the dinner table, Mac's mind immediately shifted to the history-making case. She'd need to review her constitutional law. Of course, there was the issue of whether the tribunal itself could even be considered lawful. She'd have to expect that would be the Admiral's first argument.

Harm watched Mac sit down and go through the motions of serving dinner. He could almost see the wheels turning in her mind. The room was momentarily filled with an ominous sense of awe at the impending case. This was a military lawyer's chance of a lifetime. Besides being one hell of a feather in her cap, this was a chance to put away one of the bastards responsible for 9/11. The entire concept was invigorating.

Taking his seat across from her, he reached forward to accept the proffered dish when Mac stopped mid motion. He knew what had just happened. With an uncanny sense of oneness, he had been struck with the same realization. She would be leaving him and their son for an unknown length of time. This was something neither of them had truly had time to emotionally prepare for.

"I can't go," Mac blurted out.

"You don't have a choice." Harm tugged at the dinner plate, startled by the grip Mac held on it.

"The baby?"

"Will be fine." Harm set the plate on the table and took hold of Mac's hand.

"Harm."

"I know."

"A tribunal," Mac practically whispered. A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"Who's second chair?" Harm had never regretted his return to flying, even though moving up the career path meant fewer hours in the cockpit, but the law was still a large part of his life. A big part of him wished he could be with her on this one. He still held out hope that his new orders would be an excellent chance to blend both his passions.

"The Admiral didn't say. I'm assuming Bud since he's on the Seahawk already. He's not an inexperienced lawyer. He'd be a logical choice."

Harm nodded and smiled, "Bud's really come a long way. I guess we raised him well."

"Yeah. Now if we could just get Harriet to tell him about the house." Mac looked heavenward in frustration.

"Please don't go there." Harm raised his hands in a defensive posture. "Let's finish dinner, and if you want, I can help you prep for this."

"Of course, I want," Mac smiled. "I may want a few other things, too." Her grin took on a provocative gleam.

When Mat started kicking his feet and bouncing playfully beside them, both parents broke into a fit of laughter.

"Think he's trying to tell us something?" Mac sputtered.

"Maybe he's ready for a sister?" Harm shrugged.

"One thing at a time, thank you. Let me put an end to world turmoil as we know it and we'll deal with family planning later," Mac smiled to herself.

She took her first bite of dinner. Life was good, though there would be several things to work out for this trip. Mac was still nursing. She'd take her pump with her in an attempt to continue nursing when she returned home. Daycare was in place, and Harriet had already volunteered to take care of the baby if Harm and she were ever away at the same time. She felt more at ease knowing if Harm needed to leave for Central Command or anyplace else before she was back, Harriet was prepared to step in. Yes. All in all, this life was very good.

**USS Seahawk. **

"Good to see you ma'am," Bud saluted.

"Same here. What have you got for me?" Mac followed Bud into his office.

"Ma'am." Jen stood up.

"Petty Officer," Mac smiled. Remembering she wasn't supposed to know about Jennifer, she quickly added, " I didn't realize you were here."

"Sergei didn't tell you, ma'am?" Jen tried to hide the disappointment in her voice.

"Actually, I haven't spoken with him lately. He's been in Pennsylvania with his grandmother." Mac had almost forgotten about Jen and Sergei. Perhaps she was in for a few surprises.

"Of course, ma'am. I should have realized."

"I gather this means you're keeping in touch?"

"Via email, yes, ma'am."

"Hhhm," Bud not very casually cleared his throat.

"Yes, Bud. What have we got?"

With few exceptions, the proceedings went very much as Mac had remembered. Being first chair and working with Bud made very little difference in the outcome of the case. Mac handled everything very much the same way Harm had. Bud simply took over as first chair when she had to go to the detention camp in search of new witnesses.

Even that went much the same way. Despite her attempt to keep her distance from the prisoners, fate seemed to have other ideas, and she nonetheless found herself in the same predicament with a knife-wielding prisoner. Thankfully, the outcome had not changed.

As the case drew to a close, Mac found herself tormented by the knowledge she held about Atef's suicide in her world, and wondered what she should do with it. Lying quietly in her bunk, she ran the same questions over in her mind. Even if she told what she knew, who would believe her? How could she prove she wasn't crazy? How could she even be sure things would be the same? She tried reminding herself this was only a dream, but if this was a dream, why did it all seem so real?

"It's an interesting dilemma," the familiar elderly voice commented.

"Yes, isn't it?" Mac showed no surprise at her alter ego's presence, though the lack of visits in the recent past made Mac wonder if this meant she was about to make the wrong choice.

"I see you survived the camp escapade unscathed." Slowly, the old woman walked across the cabin and took a seat at the desk.

"Yes," Mac nodded.

"Much like the time before."

"Not that I didn't try to avoid it," Mac snorted.

"I know. You said nothing when baby Sarah was being born," the older woman reminded her.

"That's right." Sitting up, Mac's curiosity was piqued.

"She's a beautiful little girl, isn't she?"

"Just like her mom."

"I see Jennifer is doing well, too."

"Seems to be." Mac wondered where this conversation was going.

The General sat across from Mac, watching her younger self process the tidbits of information she'd been fed.

"I don't have a choice," Mac finally offered.

"We always have choices. Opportunity is less frequent. Fate is a funny thing. Some things simply aren't meant to be."

"So you're saying this is what was meant to be?" Mac gripped the edge of the bunk more tightly.

"Don't confuse choice and opportunity."

Once again, as with a miraculous apparition, the old general was gone.

Mac was starting to wonder if maybe she was simply crazy. Dreams are never supposed to last this long, and if this wasn't a dream, then she was hallucinating. Not a good sign for a Marine lawyer. Rubbing her face, Mac climbed back into bed. Maybe after a good night's sleep, she'd wake up and everything would be clearer.


	6. Chapters 16 thru 18

**Chapter 16**

**Pentagon  
Three weeks later  
June 2002**

Harm plopped his briefcase on the desk. Sitting heavily in his chair, he rubbed his tired eyes. The flight from CENTCOM wasn't a long one, but the meetings the last couple of days had left him exhausted.

Things in Afghanistan were not moving along at the pace the military had originally hoped for. The incident of Al-Qaeda uprisings seemed to be escalating, not decreasing, and the growing accounts of collateral damage were not looking good.

Sifting through the stack of messages on his desk, Harm was startled to come across one from the SecNav's office. He was even more startled to discover his presence was required at a meeting this afternoon, at, of all places, JAG HQ.

**JAG HQ  
****1430 hours  
Conference Room**

"As you already know, Mustafa Atef's untimely death has put this country in a precarious position with his brother Kabir's whereabouts and intentions still unknown. We do however believe he is in league with Russian naval extremists." The SecNav took a long sip of water, his eyes scanning past AJ and Mac, settling on Harm.

"It's my understanding you were present for last night's blunder in the search for Kabir?" he huffed.

"Yes, sir. I was at CENTCOM when the news came across that the wrong truck had been targeted, killing what appeared to be a local family instead of Kabir," Harm contributed.

"That's exactly why I'm creating a new 'think tank'," the SecNav told AJ. "JAG will take point on this." He turned to Harm, "COMNAVAIR wants someone from their staff on this. You're it Rabb." Turning back to Chegwidden, he continued. "I need you to tell me where the Navy is vulnerable to Kabir, and then show me how to stop him. I want Rabb and MacKenzie in Afghanistan right away."

"Aye, sir," the three voices echoed.

"Officially you'll be representing your designated offices on the investigation into this recent mishap and the civilian casualties. Unofficially, you're to find out what Kabir is up to."

"Why not be open and above board, sir?" Mac asked casually.

"The Navy and CIA don't play open and above well, Colonel. They don't trust each other."

"Sir, two senior married officers on the same investigation is going to raise flags," Harm volunteered.

The SecNav stood up rather gruffly. "I trust you can lower them, Commander. Good luck."

In a split second, the door swung shut behind the SecNav, whisking the odd air of tension that had hung in the room out the door with him.

"It's none of my business, but are you two going to be okay with this?" AJ crossed his arms.

"Yes, sir." Neither hesitated.

"Very well. Just be careful." AJ nodded his head at what had once been his best team of investigators, and left for his office. He had a think tank to put together.

**Base Camp  
****Somewhere in Afghanistan**

As Mac lay back, the evening chill only made her miss her husband sleeping beside her all the more. So far no one had dared to question their status on this mission. Of course, it probably helped that she had kept her maiden name for military purposes, but she'd only be fooling herself if she believed there was anyone at camp who didn't know she and Harm were married.

Maintaining the strictest of protocol had come easily the last several days. It was the long nights that were the most difficult, knowing Harm was so close yet not accessible. Add the knowledge that a precious bundle of joy was dependent on her at home, and the thought of going out in a blaze of glory like Butch and Sundance, regardless of how noble the cause at stake was, just didn't seem like such an exhilarating idea anymore.

There were moments when everything seemed to be re-living itself identically to the way it had before. When Mac and Harm spoke with Gunny about Fareesa, she was surprised to hear the lilt in his voice. She had expected his relationship with Renee to have affected the current future, but the dialogue was almost exactly the same.

"And for the record, sir, Fareesa would never betray me," Gunny announced in a huff.

"Yup, he's in love with her," Mac sighed in Harm's direction. "I thought he was all hot and heavy with the Video Princess."

"Video Princess?" Harm's face contorted curiously.

"You know, the blonde with the ruffles." Mac started walking towards the humvee.

"I didn't think you knew her that well." Harm couldn't quite make out why Mac seemed so negative about someone she hardly knew.

"I don't. Do you know what happened?"

"Last I heard, it had something to do with a mortician. As far as Gunny was concerned, the relationship was all in good fun, but not the permanent kind that the blonde wanted."

Mac swallowed the smile of satisfaction she felt at Harm's failure to even remember Renee's name. "Well, I suppose at least this way she gets a discount on makeup."

"MAC." What had gotten into her?

"Come on, we've got more villagers to question."

And so the rest of the trip continued as she remembered. Right down to the little chat about how Afghanistan was 'man' country and the only problem would be that it was run by men. And of course, joking over would she and Harm run out of money paying tolls before the new government took hold.

To her dismay, as with the prison camp not long ago, fate had to rear its ugly head. She made every effort to avoid the goats and the antipersonnel mines. She even thought she'd succeeded when she cleared the original location of the mine mishap, but there was something about this incident that fate would not let her escape. Just a few feet down the road from the original explosion, the humvee veered off, the tires exploding beneath them, sending Harm flying into yet another mine field.

Mac felt the same horror she had the first time she lived through it, only this time she had long ago admitted the man on the ground was the man she loved, and now they had a child at home waiting for his mom and dad to come home. Being in a different spot from the original blast, she wasn't even sure she could trust the outcome. What was it fate had in mind for her? What was she supposed to understand about choices and opportunities?

"Harm, don't move!" Mac stared at his still form in horror. Please God, no. "You're in a mine field; those were antipersonnel mines we just went through."

Her words tumbled forth. Somewhere in the back of her mind, most of them sounded familiar, but all she could think about was being in the moment, not the moment that had been. The fresh memories sent shivers down her spine.

"Great." Harm shook his head lightly.

"Look at the ground around you. Do you see anything?"

"Stars."

"Stars. Are you okay?" Heaven help her, this all sounded so familiar.

"Yeah, I think I'm okay." Glancing around him, he frowned. "Look, isn't the idea to bury mines so you don't see them?"

"Well, sometimes there's a little depression or a small pile." Please God, make it obvious this time where they are.

"Well, which is it? A depression or a pile?" Harm could kick himself. How had he gotten himself into this mess?

"Depends on how long ago it was buried."

"I'm going to stand up." Lying here all day certainly wasn't going to get them home safely.

"Just do it in place." Thoughts of her young son cradled in her arms as the Admiral handed her a folded flag flashed uninvited through her mind.

"That right rear tire is shredded." Now that he was sitting up, the situation wasn't looking any better.

Already knowing what she'd find, Mac flew to the other side of the humvee to look. "So is the left front."

"Look, maybe the mines we hit were the only ones here." Harm stood up carefully.

"What are the odds of that?" Mac snapped. It was happening all over.

"Kind of long."

"No, not kind of long. Very long. Incredibly long. Astronomically long. The odds of winning the lottery are greater than…"

"Okay, Mac. I get the point." She was right, but he couldn't stand here all night.

Mac surprised herself when she found herself tempted once again to start the engine. That much she could control. Obviously Harm wasn't in the protection of a humvee so driving closer wasn't an option. But, Lord there had to be a better way out. If she could only think.

"I've got an idea," Harm said thoughtfully.

A surge of hope rushed through Mac's system. Harm hadn't asked for the canteen. Maybe this would be different, maybe, like Jen and the bracelet, the entire nasty incident could still be avoided.

"What?"

"You take cover on the other side of the humvee. I'm going to walk over to you."

Crap. "That's not an idea that's Afghan Roulette." She meant it when she said it then and she meant it now. "You can't take a chance like that, Harm. Think of Mat."

"Mac, I can't stand here all night like a statue when there's probably nothing between me and that humvee but dirt." Harm said a short prayer that he was right.

"Harm, be practical. It's not like we can go anywhere on the rims." Maybe this time he would listen to reason.

"The first step is the hardest." Harm looked down slowly.

"Please, Harm. Don't."

Harm set his foot carefully in front of him. So far so good. Glancing up at Mac a moment, he smiled reassuringly as he set his other foot in front.

Barely smiling, Mac could hardly breathe trying to remember how many steps Harm had taken last time. Was it two or three?

Taking another step, he was almost there. He looked up at Mac again, this time her smile slightly more sincere.

Thank God, three steps. Mac grinned back at him with a nervous chuckle.

Another step, and both froze at the loud click.

"Did you hear that?" Harm asked weakly.

"Uh huh," was all she could bring herself to say. "I guess we're lucky."

"You guess? Why? I didn't just step on a mine?"

"No. You stepped on a mine. It's just not pressure detonated like the others. It's probably a Soviet butterfly mine."

"So what does that mean? It won't detonate until I take my foot off of it?"

"Right."

"How does that make us lucky?"

"You're still alive! Your son hasn't lost his father yet, has he?" A cold wash of fear covered her. It would be okay. She would do the same thing as last time. It would work. It had to.

"Not unless I move my foot." How could Harm have done this? He'd promised Mat he would never do to him what his Dad had done. That he would be there for Mat's ball games, graduation, his wedding, and the birth of his children.

Taking a quick look around, Harm's eyes turned back to Mac. "The slope probably isn't mined. You go up that way. On the far side of the mountain is base camp. Bring back help."

That dumb idea again. Maybe this really was to be exactly the same. "No. I wouldn't get there till morning and you're not going to stand there all night in the freezing cold." She needed to get this over with.

"This is what we're going to do. We replace your weight with something heavy like this ammo box."

"That ammo box doesn't weigh anything near what I do."

"It doesn't have to. It just has to delay the mine until you can get to the other side of the humvee."

"It's too heavy for you to hand to me." Harm's heart almost leapt out of his throat when he saw Mac land heavily on the ground with the ammo box in hand. "MAC! You could have killed us."

"But I didn't." She had to believe things would work out as well this time around as they had before. After all, fate wouldn't have brought them this far only to take him away now. Even if all of this was merely a dream, she wasn't prepared to wake up yet.

"Okay, I'm going to put my foot on the ammo box," Mac continued. "I'll slide it forward, and you slide your foot back." Grunting, she pushed the box towards Harm.

"Okay, I've got it. Take cover," Harm practically ordered.

"What?" How could she have forgotten this part? "Why do you have to be so macho, again?"

"What do you mean again? Never mind, can I get over the humvee faster from up here than you can from down there?"

"Probably." Why did she bother arguing with him?

"Then, I'm not being macho, I'm being practical."

"You know, sometimes you can be infuriating."

"I know," Harm smiled broadly, "That's why you married me. Now go."

"I love you." Mac practically whispered. She couldn't shake the fear that somehow all this was about to end.

And then, with the same athletic vault he'd performed all those years ago, Harm was over the humvee and wrapped around her. Just as upset this time to discover the idea came from the movies as he had been the first time she explained it back in her world. Only this time it had earned her a rather wet, sloppy, kiss when he finally caught up with her. After all, there wasn't much chance of being caught breaking regs in the middle of the Afghan desert.

**Chapter 17**

Mac struggled with the heat, and the circumstances. Surviving a minefield the first time had been bad enough. No one should have to face that sort of fear twice in a lifetime.

"Ma'am," a young voice called from outside the tent.

"Come in, Corporal."

"Your call to the States just went through, ma'am." The young corporal popped his head inside her doorway.

"I'm on my way. Thank you, Corporal."

Mac had her boots on in no time, and hurried across the compound with an unusual amount of agility for someone as worn out as she had been only a few minutes ago.

Picking up the headset, "Hello," Mac called out in a loud voice. "Oh, Harriet, it's good to hear your voice. How's the baby?"

Mac had been fighting the huge ache in her heart since she'd left him behind for this assignment. Now after back to back mishaps, her nerves and hormones were shot. She missed her baby.

"He's fine Colonel, but you had all of us worried sick when we were told that you'd lost contact with base camp and had been unaccounted for. It didn't help any when Singer gloated how you'd been missing for hours, in the cold and dark." Harriet's blood boiled again just thinking about that witch.

"Singer?"

"Don't worry, Colonel. She learned her lesson."

Mac could almost hear Harriet's smile of satisfaction through the phone lines. She'd have to find out exactly what Harriet had done to Singer when she got home. Meanwhile, just hearing Harriet's voice had made Mac feel much better. It wasn't like she could talk to her son, but somehow knowing she was talking to the woman caring for him made Mac feel closer to him.

"Is Mat being a good boy?"

"He's a perfect angel," Harriet replied honestly. There was nothing she enjoyed more than having a small baby in the house.

"Thanks, Harriet. I wish I could talk longer, but I have to go."

"Understood. Bye, ma'am. You and the Commander be careful."

"We will. Good bye." Mac reluctantly hung up the phone. 'Be careful.' That was easier said than done. Not only couldn't she avoid mine fields, apparently she couldn't avoid air strikes either. An icy chill ran through her veins just thinking about the events of the previous night.

"You know, if you want, I could call the front desk and see if housekeeping can send up another pillow." Harm watched Mac beating her knapsack senseless. "What are you doing all the way over there?"

"Giving you some space. I mean, in case someone finds us."

"How much space do I need? You know, Mac, the temperatures are going to continue to drop. The Navy can't complain if they find us together. If we don't share body heat we'll risk hypothermia."

"Gee, you make it sound so inviting." Mac raised her brow slightly. Even married, he still had to make this difficult.

"You want an invitation?"

"Yes."

"Why don't you come over here with your husband? It's a little bit better than sleeping with scorpions." Harm nodded at the empty space beside him. Sometimes Mac was such a Marine. There was no way a search team would be looking for them at this hour of the night. It was highly unlikely anyone would be making any efforts to find them until morning light.

After a moment's hesitation, Mac snuggled comfortably into Harm's embrace, her heart skipping a beat when his long leg flung itself over hers. Years ago that had sent a thrill up her spine that had taken bombs exploding around them to diminish.

She was hopeful that event would be at least one thing she could completely avoid. It had been nearly impossible to recognize the terrain on foot, but Mac had made it a point to walk a slightly different path than they had the first time. Surely they'd walked far enough away from the hot zone.

Trying not to linger on the doubt, at least she could thoroughly enjoy her husband's warmth.

"How's this?" Harm asked, his voice lower than she remembered.

"Nice," Mac whispered back.

"Do you hear that?"

"I don't hear anything."

"Exactly. There aren't many places left in the US where you hear absolutely nothing."

Mac burrowed her head closer to her husband.

"This is almost perfect," Harm's lips barely kissed Mac's temple.

"Almost?" Mac couldn't help the grin that erupted at the feel of his warm lips against her skin. It felt like it had been years, not days, since she'd last felt his touch.

"Well, I could think of a few other places I'd rather be than in the desert, in uniform, surrounded by crawling things." Feeling a rise of sensations he'd been forced to ignore since they'd arrived, Harm couldn't resist letting his lips trail softly down Mac's cheek. "I've missed you so much."

"And I you." Mac's eyes fell shut at the soft feel of his lingering lips. She really had missed him. Having him so close, yet off limits, was worse than the week she'd spent on the Seahawk while Harm had been in DC.

"Oh, Mac." Unable to resist the feel of his wife molded curvaceously against him, Harm's fingers crawled up her shirt, dipping tenderly at her collar, teasing the soft, sweaty flesh just beneath her collar bone.

"Harm, we can't." Mac's heart was already beating at twice its normal rate. Her breath was coming in short gasps as his lean fingers, tugging firmly against the stretchy collar, diligently traced a slow feathery line across the lacey edges of her bra.

"I need you, Mac. I came closer today than I'd ever thought possible to never seeing you again. Never holding you in my arms, never feeling your body quiver around mine. I love you so much." His lips crashed firmly around hers, pulling her even closer against his already aching body.

What harm could there be? After all, they were married, and they did need to stay warm to survive the bitter Afghani night. No one would find them before daylight. He felt so good, so hard, so strong. She'd been so scared she would never see him again, that she would have to raise their son without him.

"I love you," Mac managed to mumble between kisses, rolling herself over her husband, straddling him with every inch of her body. She needed this man in her life, like she needed the air that she breathed.

Rolling over again, Harm couldn't hold back the almost primal groan that surged from deep in his belly when he felt Mac's fingers brush against him. Almost frenzied with need at her light touch, he was slow to react when he felt Mac suddenly stiffen in his arms.

"Mac? Are you okay?"

"Shh, listen." Mac's heart was racing tenfold and it had nothing to do with being wrapped intimately against her husband. "Do you hear…"

She didn't get the chance to finish her sentence when the bombs starting dropping, closer than the ones had before.

Springing up at the speed of light, Harm grabbed Mac's hand and scrambled for the nearest cover. Only a few yards away were some large boulders leading the way to one of the many caves that lined the Afghan terrain. They'd stayed in the clearing to avoid the scorpions and other creepy things that could create bedlam in the night, but now poisonous critters seemed to be the least of their problems.

"Ma'am? Ma'am," the young man called a little louder.

The young corporal's voice snapped Mac back to the present.

"Oh, sorry, Corporal. What did you say?" She couldn't shake the vivid memory. The bombs had seemed so much closer this time, and yet they had still managed to escape with only a few minor abrasions.

"Will that be all ma'am?" the confused Corporal repeated.

"Oh, yes. Thank you." Smiling sweetly at the young kid, Mac turned on her heel and started back to her own tent. She couldn't do this anymore. Dream or no dream, this had to stop.

**Chapter 18**

**Bridge of the Seahawk**

"I'm glad to hear you and the Commander were cleared by sickbay, ma'am," Bud commented, more concerned with the idea of Harm flying pursuit of the dirty nuke.

"Thanks, Bud. I have to admit, the possibilities gave us something to think about." Mac stared intently out the windows. The ship was in general quarters. Battle stations were manned. There was no point to taking nuclear precautions if the bomb detonated anywhere within ten miles. As the Captain had so eloquently put it, everyone below and above deck would be dead.

For the third time in as many days, she or Harm were within inches of leaving their son an orphan. The only thing keeping her sane was the fragile hope that this last escapade would result in the same positive outcome as their lives long ago. She didn't dare allow herself to think otherwise.

The announcement came over the loudspeaker – he would be passing on the port side. All eyes followed as Harm whizzed by, the nuke right on his six, the other pilot not far behind. Listening to the communication in the cockpit, the hairs on the back of Mac's neck stood straight up. How could he still be so cavalier? He had a wife and son to worry about and all he could do was joke that if it weren't a heat sensored missile it would ruin their day. Until this very moment, when there didn't appear to be a care in Harm's world for her or even Mat, did Mac realize just what being a Navy pilot meant. There was nothing in this world except Harm, the sky, and his beloved Tomcat.

As the nuke ran out of fuel and slowly dove towards the horizon, every soul on the bridge held a collective breath. The proverbial pin drop could have been heard. When the risk of any explosion on contact was past, the cheering roar could have drowned out a Super Bowl crowd.

**JAG office  
Seahawk**

"Congratulations, sir." Bud slapped his one-time mentor on the back.

"I was told I could find my wife here." Harm looked over Bud's shoulder.

"Yes, sir." Bud stepped aside, waving in Mac's direction.

"Hi," Mac practically breathed.

"Hey," Harm glanced over his shoulder at Bud before locking his gaze on his wife. "Are you okay? You weren't worried, were you?"

"ME? Nah." There was no point in bringing up the fears she battled. She knew that on solid ground, or ship, she and Mat were the most important things in Harm's life and he would never intentionally put himself at risk. Of course, it was the unintentional things she would have to learn to live with.

Noticing Mac looking over Harm's shoulder at him, "Uh, hmm, I …uh..." Bud suddenly realized that the two senior officers might appreciate a moment alone. "I have to go to a ground breaking for a school in Gahzni," Bud finally spit out before turning away.

"Hang on Bud. Collateral damage, especially with civilian casualties is part of what I'm supposed to be reporting on. Give me five to get into some BDUs and I'll join you," Harm shot over his shoulder, never moving his eyes from his wife's powerful gaze.

Mac's heart stopped. This wasn't supposed to go this way. Harm wasn't supposed to go with Bud. Now what? Maybe this dream was tempting fate, maybe she wasn't supposed to have Harm and this was just a cruel joke. No, she couldn't let herself think this way.

"Remember the antipersonnel mines. I've had enough excitement these past few days to last me a lifetime. PLEASE be careful. Please." Her eyes pleaded even more strenuously than her words.

"I'll just be waiting on deck, sir." Bud nodded politely. Without waiting for a reply, he closed the door behind him.

"Please, Harm?" Mac repeated.

"I will. I promise." Unable to resist, Harm leaned down and gave his wife a thoroughly quick kiss. "I'll be back."

Mac swallowed a deep breath, her eyes following her husband out the hatch. Without realizing it, she'd stepped closer to the doorway, keeping an eye on Harm until he turned the corner at the end of the hall.

Helo to Gahzni 

"I understand you authorized the funds to rebuild," Harm shouted at Bud.

"Yes, sir. The fragments at the site were definitely American."

"And you're sure it was from a recent air strike?"

"Does it really matter, sir?" Bud repeated the same words he'd used with Jen.

"No, Bud. I guess not."

Keeping their eyes out the open doorway, when the helo touched down, Harm, Bud and Jen unlatched their restraints and quickly scrambled out of the whirling bird.

"It's right down this road, sir." Bud pointed straight ahead. "You can take a look around for yourself."

"No need, Bud. I trust your judgment." Harm scanned the horizon ahead. Most of what must have been the rubble from the original air strike had obviously been moved. He wondered if the large mound at the edge of the village wasn't what was left of it.

"Hey. Isn't that a mine field?" Bud stopped short.

"What?" Harm turned towards the direction his friend was looking.

"Out there. That little boy, he's playing in a mine field."

"Surely, they've already cleared the area, sir," Jen added, concern clearly evident in her tone.

"No. Go get someone from the village. Now!" Bud darted towards the little boy.

"BUD!" Calling on his pilot's reflexes, Harm shot his arm out and grabbed tightly ahold of Bud's shoulder.

"Remember what Mac said? Getting yourself killed isn't going to help that little boy," Harm admonished.

"Sir, I can't leave him out there." Turning to the little boy. "Hey, buddy. Over here! Don't move!"

"BUD!" Harm called out again, this time more firmly. "The kid is standing still. The last thing we need is to draw his attention and have him move towards us. Stay calm. We need him to stay still until an elder gets here who can communicate with him."

"Yes, sir. Right." Bud nodded submissively. "But what if he moves, sir?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Harm was already praying Mac didn't kill him if it came to him having to go in after the boy. Bud was right. They couldn't leave him playing in a mine field. Princess Diana had spent too much time proclaiming the plight of war torn countries where forgotten mines left innocent children as mere fragments of their former selves. No, the threat was real.

"What's taking Jen so long?" Bud asked, somewhat more relieved that the boy seemed content to stare at the two frightened soldiers. What had barely been two minutes, seemed like hours.

"Sirs," Jen shouted, running towards them from the end of the road, a short gray haired man attempting to keep up.

Just then Harm glanced over at the little boy and spotted him about to sprint in the old man's direction. "NO!" Harm shouted, raising one foot forward as Bud had done not five minutes ago.

"STOP!" Came a strong older voice.

Doing for his friend as his friend had done for him, Bud shot one arm out across Harm's midsection, the other pointing at the older man shouting as he ran up the road.

In what seemed like a simultaneous flash, the little boy tore off in the opposite direction towards the village as the older man screamed up at Bud and Harm, "It's okay. The mines have been cleared on the eastern side of the field. The boy knows the safe passage. Only the patch before you is still dangerous."

Relieved when the little boy reached the road, Harm let out an enormous sigh as he looked at the stretch of minefield in front of him, "Mac would have killed me."

"You and me both, sir," Bud agreed, swallowing hard. "You and me both."


	7. Chapters 19 thru 21

**Chapter 19**

**Rabb Home  
Late June 2002**

Mac had never been more thankful to sit in her own chair, in her own living room, in her own house, with her own husband, holding her own baby.

She and Harm had nearly had the closest thing to an all-out, blow-up fight on the flights home, but Mac had made up her mind. Now she just had to convince the Admiral the same way she'd convinced Harm.

Mac woke up this morning pretty much the same way she'd fallen asleep. Sprawled on the sofa, with Harm wrapped closely around her, and their son nuzzled snugly under her chin.

She didn't want to leave this morning. At the moment, she was pretty darn sure she never wanted to leave the house again, but she knew that wasn't very rational. Forcing herself to get up and move about, slowly, she and Harm fell into their usual morning routine of old, and within the hour all were on their way to their respective workplaces. Except, of course, for Mathew who would be spending his day at Kinder Kountry.

**JAG HQ  
0900 hours**

"He's ready to see you, Colonel," Tiner pointed to the closed door.

"Thanks, Tiner." Mac knocked lightly at the ominous wooden door.

"Enter." Waiting for Mac to move closer to the desk, "At ease. You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, sir. I wanted to give you this." Mac stretched her hand forth, a single sheet of paper held out to the Admiral.

"I was afraid something like this might happen." He didn't need to read it to know what it was, but he accepted the paper anyway. "You're sure about this?" AJ asked, giving the page a cursory glance.

"Yes, sir. Very."

"I heard there were some rough moments out there. You know, Colonel, just about any JAG lawyer would be willing to testify that what you've recently been through is about as frequent an occurrence as snowfall in Miami."

"I know, sir. Commander Rabb and I have discussed this at length. Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Of course, Mac."

"Sir, I love the Marine Corps and all it's done for me. I owe the Corps my life. But the days of Marine first and lawyer second are over. I'm more than a Marine, and I need to be home teaching a very beautiful little boy all the wonderful things there are in life, and maybe in the Marine Corps," Mac smiled softly. "I need to be with him as much as he needs me. I want to enjoy my home, my family, my husband, and maybe someday my career, but until the day I die, I will from now on always be a mother first, Marine second, and a lawyer third, sir."

"You realize this is going to take some time to process. I know you have time coming on the books…."

"That won't be necessary, sir. I'm perfectly willing to finish out whatever time it takes to run this through the channels and fill the empty billet, sir."

"Very well, Colonel. I'll take care of it right away." AJ nodded at Mac in a casual dismissal. At least she hadn't given him another 'spread my wings' speech. Looking up after she'd closed the door behind her, he knew he was going to miss her. Things had never been quite the same after Rabb left. A certain fire was gone from the office. Of course, that could be because there wasn't another attorney in his right mind with enough nerve to fire a weapon in a courtroom. With Mac gone too, things were definitely going to be different. Maybe it was time he considered moving on.

The next few months went smoothly. It had indeed taken over three months to process Mac's out papers. Harm and the Admiral had tried to convince her to accept a reserve slot as an individual manning augmentee judge, but Mac wanted none of it. Even though there would always be the risk that she would be recalled while in inactive reserve, Mac wanted to fly as low as possible under the military's radar. If it wasn't required to be on inactive reserve for five years after resigning her commission, she would have preferred to not even do that. She was going to do her damnedest to make sure that her son would always have at least one parent around.

**May 6th 2003  
Rabb home  
1730**

All was going well in the Rabb household. Harm was keeping busy at the Pentagon and very thankful that none of his responsibilities this past year had required him to return to the Middle East. The longest jaunt since Afghanistan had been three days at MacDill.

Mac had fallen into the role of full-time mom with unexpected ease. Of course, almost being blown up in a minefield, then caught in an air strike, and then threatened by a nuclear missile, had an interesting way of making you appreciate the smallest things in life, in this case, a precocious sixteen month old boy. It boggled her mind why she had ever thought staying home would be boring.

Mac did manage to stay informed of all the comings and goings at JAG. Back in November, Harriet had reported that Lt. Singer had been caught having an affair with, of all people, Commander Lindsey. Apparently Singer had thought he was her back door to the SecNav. Unfortunately for Lauren, having a pregnancy diagnosed at your annual physical wasn't part of her plan, and the new SecNav had little patience for Lindsey. When Lindsey tried to deflect the attention back on JAG, the newly appointed Secretary Sheffield threw Lindsey out on his proverbial ear. Oddly enough, Mrs. Lindsey divorced Ted, and adopted Lauren's baby. Lauren requested a transfer. No one was sure where she had been sent, but the office pool was fairly certain it wasn't Italy.

The other big surprise was Jen. Practically the moment she set foot on dry land, she and Sergei eloped. At first Harm had been concerned they were rushing things, but by the time Christmas had come and gone, he was convinced that those two were most definitely made for each other.

"Where do you think you're off to now, young man?" Mac chased her son to the front door.

"Din don," Mat announced proudly, landing against the door with a thud.

Pulling her son onto her hip, Mac couldn't have been more startled by the man at the door if she'd had a visit from Elvis.

"What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too, Sarah. Going to invite me in or are you just going to stand there gaping at me like a fish?"

"Sorry, Clay. Come on in." Slowly, Mac closed the door behind her. She and Harm hadn't seen or heard from Webb since last year in Afghanistan. The hackles on the back of her neck warned her that whatever he wanted, it couldn't be good.

**Rabb home  
****One hour later**

Harm pulled into the driveway. Who did they know that drove a silver Jaguar? Pulling his briefcase from the passenger seat, Harm walked towards the front door, curiously eyeing the out of place automobile.

Turning the key in the lock, Harm was struck by the loudness of Mac's voice as he swung the door open.

"Paraguay! Are you out of your mind? First of all, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not pregnant!"

Harm's eyes almost popped out of his head. What was she yelling about? Dropping his satchel where he stood instead of placing it in its usual place on the table across the entryway, Harm hurried into the living room in three long strides.

"Secondly, I'm not a spook! Hell, technically, I'm not even a Marine anymore!"

"Once a Marine, always a Marine." Webb shrugged nonchalantly.

Without knowing what Webb had previously suggested to have invoked Mac's wrath complete with fury and spitfire, even Harm knew Webb's last comment was probably the most foolish thing to have said to an obviously already irate Marine. Before Harm could get within grabbing distance of her, Mac slugged Webb so hard that he flipped over the back of the sofa and landed flat on his back.

"What are you, taking lessons from AJ?" Webb held his hand up to his now bleeding nose.

"Boo boo?" Mat asked from his playpen across the room.

"Yes, Mathew." Hiding an amused smirk, Harm walked over to retrieve his son, deciding that whatever was going on, Mac was not in need of his assistance.

**Chapter 20**

**Admiral Chegwidden's home  
September 2003**

"You really have no idea what this is all about?" Harm asked as they pulled into the driveway.

"No. If Jen has any idea, she's not telling, and Harriet and Bud are as much in the dark as the rest of us," Mac shrugged.

"This reminds me of the first time the Admiral invited us to an informal dinner at his home. Remember?" Harm held out his hand to help Mac from the car.

"How could I forget? Francesca." She wasn't even going to mention the havoc Coster had created in her life at that time.

"You don't suppose this has something to do with Francesca again?"

"Why would you think that?" Mac followed Harm up the porch steps.

"Well, he's only had two real parties that we've been invited to. One was to introduce us to his daughter, and the other was an engagement party for Carolyn and Mic." Harm knocked lightly at the door.

"Yeah, but we knew about the engagement. As a matter of…" Mac froze mid sentence when the door opened.

"Come in," the sultry, accented voice directed.

"What a pleasure to see you again," Harm offered.

"Yes." Mac nodded, still overcome with shock to find Marcella Paretti standing at the Admiral's door.

"It is always nice to see AJ's good friends. Please, come in." Marcella stepped out of the way, ready to close the door behind them, when she saw Bud and Harriet coming up the walk. "Please go ahead. I'm sure AJ will get you something to drink," Marcella waved at Harm and Mac while waiting for the next wave of guests.

"Well, you were right about the surprise part," Mac leaned over and whispered out of the side of her mouth at Harm. Neither of them had heard anything further about Marcella Paretti since her return to Italy shortly after Mic and Carolyn's engagement party.

"Something tells me the surprises have only just begun," Harm chuckled quietly, walking over to where Jen and Sergei were standing.

"So, was Mrs. Paretti the surprise?" Harm looked Jen straight in the eye.

"I could only think so, sir." Jen answered, shrugging one shoulder.

"Jen. It's been almost a year since you married my brother. You know the drill, out of uniform it's Harm. What are you going to do, have junior there learn to call me 'Uncle Sir'?" Harm lightly laid his hand on Jen's slightly rounded tummy.

"No, sir. I mean, Harm," Jen giggled. Just into her fourth month, this was her first time in public with maternity clothes.

"You're looking lovely," Mac added.

"Well, of course. My brother and I have excellent taste. Only the most beautiful women in the world for us." Sergei squeezed his hold on Jen's shoulder.

"Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention please." Admiral Chegwidden stood to one end of the room. All eyes turned to him.

"I'm aware of all the speculation regarding this evening's little gathering. I've heard many theories. All very interesting, and all correct." AJ smiled at the dull hum that filled the room.

"I have decided the time has come for me to retire." Raising his hands to quiet the louder buzz that ensued. "Please. A confluence of many things has led to my decision, but let me be clear; I am not leaving anything. I am completing one experience, and starting another." AJ looked around at all the quietly stunned faces.

"Specifically, this summer, the one true love of my life has agreed to be my wife, again." Extending his hand in Marcella's direction, AJ drew her into him, affectionately clutching her shoulder. "And you're all invited."

"Here, here!" The room roared with congratulations. One by one, all the guests made their way to the smiling couple, the pain of AJ's impending departure lessened only by the happier news of the upcoming wedding.

"It looks like we get both an engagement and a surprise," Harm whispered in Mac's direction.

"I guess Francesca knew what she was doing in Naples," Mac chuckled softly.

"I didn't want to say this in public," AJ's voice echoed over Jen's shoulder, as the small group shifted to make room for him and Marcella.

"But I've already delivered two babies in that office and I'm just not up to a third," AJ laughed whole heartedly.

"No, sir. I'm not sure I'd be up to it either, sir," Jen grinned bashfully.

"Colonel, I understand you're involved with some very worthwhile volunteer work?" AJ looked over at Mac, eager to redirect the evening's topic of conversation away from himself.

"Yes, sir. With Mat in mother's day out three days a week, it gives me a little extra time. I've been helping and advising over at the battered women's shelter."

"A very worthwhile cause," Carolyn Brumby commented, joining the group. "Maybe I could find a way to help too."

"I'm sure they'd be delighted. I don't really have much time, but I thought whatever I could do to save any woman from the Joe MacKenzies of this world had to be a good thing."

**December 2004**

Throwing all the packages into the back of the SUV, Mac shook her head. Life was certainly taking an interesting turn from its original course. Settling comfortably into the front seat, she considered her recent Christmas list, and all the people that had come and gone in her life.

She had not seen hide nor hair of her older self since that odd conversation on the carrier after the tribunal. Not since that odd conversation about choices and opportunities. Perhaps that was adding to the more frequently nagging sense that things were coming to an end. Time seemed to be passing by faster and faster. It had been too long since she'd seen the old general. The birth of Emily Zhukov was already a distant memory, as was the Admiral and Marcella's wedding at Annapolis in May.

Turning the key in the ignition, she pondered what it was in all worlds that attracted her and Harm to porches. There had been no need for serious discussions about death and disease at the Admiral's reception. Heck, Webb had even come to the wedding with a tall, slender blonde who only spoke German. No, despite the pleasant circumstances, she and Harm spent an unusual amount of time sitting side by side on the porch, not really talking about anything, just enjoying being there together.

Pulling cautiously out of the parking lot, Mac was very thankful she'd had the good sense to leave Mat at home with Harm while she finished her last minute shopping. The snow storm had really started to come down now, making driving home a challenge.

Focusing on the road ahead, Mac tried to ignore the urge to race home. An odd feeling of needing to hurry back to her waiting family had been tugging at her most of the day. In an attempt to shake the overwhelming sense of urgency to rush home to her family, as though for some odd reason her family needed her more now than ever, she started running the plans for the evening through her mind.

Sergei and Jen were joining them for dinner, and then they would all be joining the Roberts for dessert before making the trip to visit Harm's dad at the wall. If this weather kept up, they wouldn't be able to take the children with them.

Flipping her phone open, Mac hit speed dial for Harm's number.

"Rabb."

"Hey, handsome,"

"Mac. Where are you? The roads are starting to get treacherous. Want me to come get you?"

"In what? The 'vette? You know my vehicle is better equipped for snow. No, I'm on my way anyhow, I just need you to do me a favor."

"Name it."

"Get the roast out of the fridge. It's been marinating overnight and should be ready to go. Set it to slow cook at 250. That should get things started until…." Mac's jaw dropped as the wiper blade swiped away a layer of snow and an enormous tree appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the road.

"What the hell?" slipped out.

"Mac!" Harm cringed at the brief sound of screeching tires and bending metal before the profound silence of the dead phone hung thick in his ear.

**Chapter 21**

Everything was so dark. She hadn't remembered ever actually sleeping in this eternal dream, and now she was having a hard time cutting through the fog to open her eyes. Was that a voice?

"Mac? Can you hear me?"

That was definitely a voice, Harm's, and he sounded worried. That's right, the tree. She was on the phone with Harm when she hit the tree. Why were her eyelids so heavy? Forcing her eyes open just the slightest bit, Mac squinted quickly at the harsh light.

"Mac. Please wake up." Harm squeezed her hand. He'd been sitting here for days waiting for her to stir.

"Harrrmmm," she smiled weakly.

"Hey, beautiful. You had us all worried."

"Sorry. Didn't see the tree." Mac dropped her eyes shut again, not noticing the disturbed glare Harm shot the doctor, nor the doctor's casual shrug in response.

"Is it too bright? Want me to close the curtains?" Harm didn't wait for her to answer. He quickly scurried around the bed and closed the blinds and the drapes. "That better?" he asked from the window.

"Mm," Mac nodded. "I'm sorry about the car," she mumbled.

"What about the car?" Harm was trying very hard not to let her obvious confusion worry him.

Opening one eye, she watched Harm return to his previous place, and gently take her hand in his again. She also noticed a woman in a white coat at the foot of her bed holding her chart.

Forcing her other eye open, Mac had to blink a few times. She thought for sure her eyes were deceiving her. After all this time, her elder self was back, only this time instead of just observing, she was actually participating in Mac's life, her nose buried in the charts, scribbling frantically.

"So we're out of the woods?" Harm asked the doctor, obviously relieved now that Mac had opened her eyes.

"Looks like it. From here on it should be smooth sailing," the woman directed at Harm, still writing copiously.

"You can see her?" Mac turned to Harm stunned.

"Of course I can see her? What are you talking about?" Harm turned back to the doctor, a near panicked look on his face.

"Relax, Captain. A little disorientation when waking up isn't unusual." Walking up to the side of the bed, the doctor extended her hand to Mac's non-IV clad arm.

Mac lay open-mouthed, staring at the woman. What was her older self doing talking to real people?

"Mac, are you feeling okay?" Harm put his free hand on Mac's forehead.

Momentarily forgetting her confusion at the old general's very public presence, Mac managed to turn a sharp glare in Harm's direction.

"How would you feel after plowing into a tree?"

"What are you talking about?" Harm was failing miserably at hiding his concern.

"The accident." Mac turned from Harm to the old woman and back again.

"There wasn't any accident. You wouldn't wake up so Mat called Harriet and 911. Harriet called me, but I was already on my way back from Pax River. My quals ended early and I was in a hurry to get home."

"That's impossible. Mat's only three. He doesn't know how to call Harriet." Mac was suddenly developing a throbbing headache.

"Three? Mac, Mat's six." Harm looked up at the doctor, his eyes searching hers for answers.

"Tell me, who's the president of the United States?" the doctor asked Mac, a slow dip in her brow forming.

"Oh for heaven's sake. George Bush. I'm not crazy."

"What's today's date?" was her next question.

"December 24, 2004." Mac's frustration at the stupid questions turned to distress at the curious look Harm gave her.

"Honey, it's 2007, and it's April. Not December," Harm told her softly.

"Then I'm awake? The dream is over?" Mac's voice cracked ever so slightly. Dropping her head heavily on the pillow, she closed her eyes tightly, holding back the tears that threatened to overflow. She knew it was bound to happen. Eventually she would have to wake up and face a reality without the baby, the house, or the husband. They'd soon be nothing more than a faded dream. Wait, her mind did a double take. Opening her eyes suddenly, she turned in Harm's direction. Did he say Mat was six?

"What's the last thing you remember?" The doctor asked, her face showing more concern than she had only moments ago.

"Well, in my dream I was shopping Christmas Eve. Harm was home with Mat, and on the way home, I drove into a tree."

"That was three years ago, Mac. You walked away sore and bruised."

"What do you mean three years ago?" If her dream was over, why did she have a six year old son, and what was her older self still doing here? And if the dream wasn't over, what happened to the last three years?

"What was the last thing you remember before falling asleep?" the doctor interrupted.

"Oh. I was folding laundry, and watching an old movie. I was exhausted from watching the Roberts' twins…"

"You should have known better than to take on too much, Mrs. Rabb. You're doctor's report says this has been a high-risk pregnancy for you. Women who are eight months pregnant in your condition and at your age aren't supposed to be running around after her own children, never mind taking on two more. It's no wonder your blood pressure shot up."

"Eight months pregnant?" Mac's eyes were wide open now.

"You went into shock. They did an emergency c-section, but you've been unconscious for almost three days," Harm explained.

"And the baby?" Mac was extremely confused.

"Fine." Harm's smile grew bright for the first time since Mac had woken up. "Eight pounds, five ounces. She's beautiful."

Mac batted her eyes a few times. She was desperate to clear the thick fog that was crowding her brain. Slowly, it was starting to come back to her. The tests after the accident three years ago showed she was pregnant with their second child, Thomas. Harm's stint at the Pentagon paid off, he'd gotten noticed by the right mucky mucks and his next assignment was Squadron Commander on a carrier. Last spring he'd made Captain. She'd been on bed rest the better part of the last seven months because of a high risk….

"Oh, God. Where is she?" Mac's voice came out in a slight panic. "Is she okay? She's early."

"Shh shh, it's okay. She's fine. The nurse brings her in here whenever she's awake. We've been getting acquainted while you've been recovering," Harm reassured her.

"Harm. My dream wasn't a dream. It was my life flashing before my eyes."

"Mac, that cliché only happens when you're awake. Not when you're in a semi-comatose state."

"Bud does still have his leg?"

"What?" Harm curled his brow in confusion. Why wouldn't Bud have his leg?

"Sarah Roberts, she didn't die did she?" Mac's voice was bordering on panic and elation.

"Of course she didn't die." Harm was seriously considering ignoring the doctor and calling in a psychiatrist. Something wasn't right.

"Then I'm right. My life flashed before me. In very VIVID, BRIGHT, DETAIL," Mac enunciated.

"The only thing I don't get…" Mac turned and pointed her finger at the doctor. "Is you."

"Yes, well. I'm sorry. I should have introduced myself. I'm General McKenzie, Susan McKenzie. As you can see, we have at least two things in common, except I spell my name MCK, no A."

Mac's eyes flew open even wider than before. "S. McKenzie," she repeated quietly.

"That's right," Dr. McKenzie smiled.

"You should feel honored Mac. Dr. McKenzie here is the only doctor in the entire Corps," Harm announced, almost proudly.

"That's right. Marines don't have doctors. How…?" Mac looked back at the doctor.

"Long story," Dr Mckenzie laughed. I'll fill you in on all the gritty little details when you've had a little more rest."

"Rest? You said I've been sleeping for three days. I don't want to rest. I want to see my children," Mac insisted.

"Yes, but that was different. You need to get some rest and I'm sure Captain Rabb will be happy to bring the children by for you to see later."

Mac nodded in reluctant agreement before looking at the doctor thoughtfully, "If you'll excuse my forwardness, you could be me in twenty years."

"I know," Dr Mckenzie smiled proudly. "Your husband said the exact same thing to me the first day you came in. He even told you so before you went into surgery. He'd hoped you could hear him. Said it was a good sign that your older alter ego was in charge."

Now everything was making perfect sense. Except…

"Harm," Mac turned from the friendly doctor and looked over at her husband.

"Yes."

"If I hadn't gone after you in the elevator your last day at JAG, would you have come after me?

"Of course, Mac." Harm flashed his best 'dress whites and gold wings' smile. That was one road he had no intention of going down. "You know I would have." Eventually, he thought to himself.

"Mm," Mac smiled back. I wonder?

THE END.


End file.
